Rin on the Rox - Halo

i'm in love with their version of Halo.

been stuck at home all day with sister. rase mcm anak terbiar.this is because mother didn't cook anything. so we went out to buy food. there were some people selling satay at the market near my house but i had satay for two days straight and am beginning to get sick of it.

came home with a bag of famous amos, seaweed treats, ice lemon tea, root beer, pasta from 7-11 and chocolate. after that mix of food in my stomach, there is no way i can keep it down until morning. chocolate and root beer do not go together. pffftt!!!

did nothing much today, went through youtube, watched alot of cool vids. my faves so far are, Beyonce's Halo and Diva, Keri Hilson's Energy and Rin on the Rox cover versions of requested songs. you all should really check these ladies out, Rin on the Rox i mean, they are great singers. not to mention gorgeous.

i better get going , still have a lot of things to do and there is school tmrw.

he called me beautiful, am i?

a new beginning for us, but
there are still some things i've got to work on.
habits i've got to break.

i hope i'm not making a mistake.

good luck to me.

TGIF!!

i've got BBQs to go to, tmrw my father's side which is at changi beach, still my favourite beach in the world 'sides from sentosa's Emerald Pavilion. then the next day will be at sembawang beach, mother's side. though i'm not going to spend the night at both BBQs. no mood i guess.

tmrw early morning get to see my precocious sunshine's. i miss them, even though i've only worked twice so far, three times including tmrw. makes me want to have a kid of my own though i'm not thrilled at the idea of getting married. go figure.

you know how ironic and funny it gets when someone has another's link but they blog bad things about that someone. how does that work? talk about being thick skinned...i never really understood two faced people even though i was surrounded by them in the past. what do they gain, really, from all the things they post about that certain person?? here's another go figure.

as for the ex beau, will this be a new beginning or a final goodbye? i'll prepare for anything right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!

first of all i would like to wish father a Happy 45th Birthday. i'll pray for more blessed and healthy years for you ahead. He so tue oreadi. haha.

too bad i can't post a picture up. lappy has been defunct for over a month now, not enough cash to send it for repairs. i would have wanted to send it to my mother's friend house for the repairs but i just remembered that there are some pictures in my lappy that are not for adult eyes. especially since that friend of my mother was also my guru ngaji. erkk. haha

so this weekend is the annual BBQ. i can't wait. i miss my darling Misha Akila. my relatives too, the jokes, part of the whole experience. my uncles can tell joke after joke after joke, without missing a beat. and of course i'll be missing alot of flavours since my aunt will be doing all the BBQ-ing and cooking. i'll prolly die if i don't get to taste her BBQ ikan pari.

one word - explode

the flavours literally explode in your mouth, i'm drooling just by thinking of it.

after free labour time, met up with babygirl Nuruz. teman her go trim her hair. then we had dinner at LJS. with the way i'm eating right now, Nana, nmpknye awak menang lah. pffft!

anyways, we chilled at skate park after that. we made up obscene stories from seemingly innocent 'once upon a time'. its this game that i learned from sister. where you take turns creating stories by saying a sentence each turn. it's played better written down on a piece of paper then read out. but Nuruz and me played the say out loud version. in the end we couldn't get to the ending because we were laughing soo much. that is due to the fact that every other sentence after the so called 'once upon a time' turned out to be more obscene the more we got into it.

Babygirls, all six of us should try playing this game one day. then we'll find out whose mind is the most obscene. ROFL

with that,
adieu

i'm quite shagged from what has been happening throughout the day.

first of all, people came over sometime during lunch, then after that i had to get ready since the family wanted to walk around town. my parents went first since i had to wait for sister to get home from her Sunday classes.

sister and me reached orchard around 4 in the afternoon. walked around aimlessly, i was the one doing the aimless walking about while sister hit every store with the dopest shoes trying to find the perfect one, i just followed her aimlessly. i didn't know why i was so not in the mood.

well anyways, the family had their lunch at ES Teler @ Far East Plaza. the food not bad, but not great either. thank god i was hungry. hehs

as for right now, i'm, preparing myself for the shits that's gonna happen pertaining to my attendance for IA. onlygodknows how rude that little man is going to be to us. i sort of deserve it but he is still rude to me, like the first day of attachment talking to us like we were a bunch of imbeciles.

oh, and i miss him. gaahs

kiddy convos

snippets of what i heard throughout my morning;

diamond head
Ben10
rainbow
kittens
tom & jerry

they made my morning, those kids. i don't have to drink coffee in the morning, by just being there and hearing their ceaseless chatter about anything and everything perks me up and keeps me awake. 'cos i ain't no morning person.

kids nowadays are getting quite precocious for their young age. the innocence of life before adolescence is refreshing in a way. it's like I'm seeing the world through rainbow colored glasses every Saturday, where life to them is a world filled with hopping bunnies made out of cotton candy. where the sun never sets. where everything is full of color and they don't have to worry about being a teen , yet.

sleepless nights

i have to work tmrw and i can't sleep. I've had sleepless nights for a few days now. I guess i'm back to my old routine, but im prepared now. I know what to do when i cannot sleep.

Here's to trying to get to sleep. Pffft!!

babybro and rugby

babybro has a scored a position in his rugby team at school. the fact that he is in rugby at all still kinda puzzles me. he is small sized.

his rugby position is scrum-half. i don't know what that is but sounds very sport-ish. it has to do something with passing the rugby ball...

well I'm fervently hoping he doesn't get crushed during any game, he is still small sized and the only brother i've got. erks.

haha, i'm so not being confident in his ability at sports.

i am so gonna be in big trouble tomorrow. theres a meeting with Mr Goh in the morning. i can already imagine how my morning's gonna turn out. well my fault really. who asked me to go AWOL all the time. seriously though, there is no more motivation for me to go to school. mother doesn't force me awake anymore lately.

well just have to deal with it lah. good luck to me then. hopefully the little man doesn't spoil my morning too much 'cause i still have maths lessons to attend.

speaking of which, i haven't yet complete a few more tutorials. gaahs. totally not my week man.

adieu.

random update

I'm at home when i should actually be at school serving my attachment. there's just no more motivation to come to school anymore. except for the maths classes i have to attend. i think I'll ask Mr Roy to give me a warning letter so i can paste it near my bed and thus will be reminded to go to school everyday. haahs

I'll update later, again.

adieu, for now.

just had a long discussion with a few adults, about me retaking my o levels and they said just do my best for the next 2 months+ and score for my lab maths instead.

so my place in republic poly is confirmed if i pass my lab maths and my IA. hopefully i get a min gpa of 2.0 but i will aim higher. i really wanted to pursue that diploma in Vet Tech at TP though, maybe i can use the diploma i get from my 3 years at RP to get into that course. it's possible since I've been through the admissions website just now.

I'll just have to concentrate on my lab maths from now and see where it leads me. hopefully I'll still be able to pursue that course at TP i wanted so much.

i shall have to do my best then.
adieu

choices

for the past few hours i've been thinking, thinking and more thinking whether i want to uise my Higher NITEC cert to get myself into a poly. though i have a feeling it will be RP. i've been going through all the poly websites and only a few polytechnics have that min 2.0 gpa that will get u into the relevant course. as for TP, i've only one course in mind and that is the Veterinary Technology course. though i will have to have an O Level cert to get into that course.

I'll see how my ITE results turn out. if i can't get into a poly via my ITE cert then I'll be retaking my O's. six subjects excl mother tongue. if it turns out like that, i will still have an advantage since i have a full two years to study for my O's. and I'll make sure that I'll make full use of the two years.

if i were to think of my future back when i was in secondary school. I'd be in my final year of poly. I'm still young though. i still got a lot of time before i think about settling down though some of my relatives think i should already be engaged. pfft!

well here's cheers to a start of better choices ahead in my life.

adieu

new job

i totally loovvee my new job. just love it.

the kids are so adorable and cheeky, not to mention very precocious. gaahs, i can't wait for next week. my Saturdays are finally used in a productive way and i get paid to just watch and help the kids. sounds wonderful to me.

does that make me an official ustazah since I'm working as an assistant to my cousin who teaches there full time. i hope not. the irony of it makes me wanna laugh. especially when the oh-so-adorable kids call me ustazah. i can't help but smile throughout the day just by watching their lovable antics.

next week i may have to stay till late afternoon. but i don't mind. at least i get paid not unlike the free labour i have to do at school. and the things they have us do ain't even related to any of the modules we've studied at school. like, pffftt!!

well I'm off to take a short nap, will be going to RP's open house with the clique later in the afternoon.

adieu

Vampire Movies

i finally got to watch Underworld Evolution, and i finally know why it isn't shown on local television. like duh! it's a bit too R rated to be shown on television here. hopefully the final installment of the movie, which is also the prequel to the other two movies, will have an NC-16 rating, at least. cos sister and i want to watch it together. we're both fans of the underworld series.

ever since watching Twilight, I've been cruising through all imaginable movie watching sites to watch all vampire related movies. frankly speaking, some, if not all the vampire movies are just plain corny. there's no suspense and all the plots are predictable. there are a few exceptions. the Underworld Trilogy and Van Helsing are great movies, for me.

and I'm done
adieu

i still haven't decide yet.

i had a good day today. went for NP's open house with nuruz.

nothing exciting really but there were alot of people there on campus. watched a dikir barat performance. made me miss the time i was in dikir barat, which was only for national day. a one day, one time event during my sec 4 year.

met Fadhuli, after a year. he's grown taller, taller than me. the last time i saw him we were about the same height. so we talked about studies and stuff. then he asked how me and him were doing. and i couldn't answer properly. i just said it was complicated. it sort of hurt when Fad asked me that question, all those memories came rushing back into my head.

i have a lot i want to say to the ex-beau but i don't know what to say and how to say it. not a day passes by that i don't think about him. he's a part of my dreams almost every night. and i said i wanted to move on, how can i? when all i think of is him.

adieu

i never made it to school today, i fell sick again and having menses cramps ain't helping me.

well anyways, later at 6pm i will be fetching Fudge, one of my cats, from the vet. she had her sterilization op today. i wonder how she's feeling right now or maybe the anaesthesia hasn't lifted yet. her weight is probably going to shoot up in a few weeks time. like my other cats who have gained a significant amount of weight a few weeks after their op process. wonder how round she is going to be. hopefully the effects of the anaesthesia wears off by the time she comes home.

adieu

First Day of School

babybro is officially a Secondary school student or more accurately an ADSSian.

he was so excited early in them morning, that he woke me up every 5 mins to check that he got everything correct. i could almost taste the anticipation in the air. that feeling of encountering something new. babybro looked cute in his new school uniform too.

when i dragged myself awake to see whether he was ready or not, he surprised me by already getting his bag packed with all the correct items. everything had that new smell. watching him all packed and ready, made me miss secondary school in a way. made me miss carrying books to school. all that I've been carrying to campus are files filled with notes.

the next thing I'm waiting for is his growth spurt. i wonder how tall he'll be. as tall as father? maybe taller than that, who knows.

i know babybro will not get involved or be friends with the hooligans in school. especially the mats&minahs jrs. he's too smart for that. he's too smart to be friends with people like them. he knows how to pick his friends and he knows that he deserves better.

i kinda envy him and his confidence. at such a young age he has so much confidence. i wish i had that much confidence when i was his age. at the very least i know i wouldn't have made those mistakes i made in the past.

adieu

amnesia

imma fake a case of amnesia for awhile.

deleted his number from my contacts list. won't do me any good though because i remember it by heart. i still remember his birthday too. it's a start, though. a very good start i suppose.

its the new year, and i feel nothing. nothing special is gonna happen anyways, after that angry first post of the year. i highly doubt so.

sister got into trouble and father is angry at her. her late nights. can't blame her this time though because it was clearly not her fault but she should have known better. I'm still waiting for her to come home.

i wonder when father will truly give us the freedom. I'm turning 20 this year. old enough to take care of myself. and as far as my parents are concerned, I've been pretty well behaved in their eyes in 2008. though there is no curfew for me since i don't know when. i have indulged in my late nights. mother doesn't really mind that i have my late nights because i report to her in detail. so she doesn't have to worry that much laa. father is a bit of a problem.

the only traditional thing i do every new year is to stay up for 48 hrs. so now, I'm feeling very sleepy. can't wait to hit the bed.

again, have a blessed 2009 ahead, all you fellow bloggers.
adieu

Hello 2009

i must be the only girl alive who's angry and upset over the new year. upset with myself mostly. my inability to make decisions. my constant frustration with everything else.

sister is over at vivo, performing while I'm here at home sulking and in general being freaking angry with myself. i may also be those very few people who welcomed the new year with angry tears running down my face.

i don't know how many god damn times i changed my god damn mind. i missed the chance to meet him because i refuse to text him again asking him to accompany me. and I'm stupidly crying over my mistake. I'm crying also because sister is out having fun while I'm here at home thinking why i was even born. gaahs. i have no friends here in woodlands and even if there were, I'd still be alone.

as for the resolutions, fuck it.

fuck everything else. I'm gonna take 2009 in my own stride. screw what people think. i'm so done pleasing people all the time. always having to be the one who is thoughtful of others. always being selfish to myself. i don't know how many times I've been used.

accept everything that comes my way, take it in my own stride and screw what people think. and I'm totally done making excuses for others.

and i wish he would read my blog someday and realise what he meant to me.

i feel like I've been running for a long time because there's no one on the other side to me stop me.

and I'm still crying my angry frustrated tears.