i don't know what to do.

i'm already at my wit's end with those students of mine. shouting and screaming doesn't work. being fair doesn't work. being composed but firm lagi tak work. so how like that? being friends with them? not a chance 'cos they already treat me like an imbecile.

i was close to tears just now. seriously. i have a lot on my plate with their final year exams coming and parents complaining that their children ain't doing their work. what is a girl to do. i believe i'm the most helpless and pathetic teacher and this isn't even a full class of 40. just 4 students, 4 children that i can't handle.

i used to say that i preferred the afternoon session but i take that back now that i've experienced for myself the agony of having to handle them. i find that i can reason with the morning session students rather than the afternoon session. though the morning session students are younger than the afternoon session ones.

if i did not need this job i would have already declined it but seeing as my family's financial situation is not that good i have to take the job. not only that the workplace is only 5 - 10 mins away from my house, i save a lot because i do not have to worry about transportation nor lunch money. that is unless of course i want to buy lunch instead of going home but that won't cause my pockets to burst.

whatever it is, i have to find a new method and hold on. if not for my family's sake then my own.

GOD give me strength.

Monday blues

you guys know how the Monday blues affect us. we seem tired and lack energy 'cos of the whirlwind of activities done over the weekends. i suffered that same dilemma. i had little energy as it is and those kids of mine almost sapped all of it. especially the morning session.

thank goodness that the afternoon session will be down to 4 students in a few days and will be down to 3 students come end October. just found out this afternoon that another of my student will be withdrawing herself from student care too. which means i'll be left with 2 students by year end. isn't that just wonderful? most of my colleagues think so and i agree wholeheartedly with them.

other than that, the day wasn't that bad. my supervisor handed me a entry pass. it makes going in and out of the centre that much easier since i'm the only one who frequently goes in and out. not that i am free to come and go as i please but because i have to send and fetch the students to and from school. hopefully by year end, i'll only have to worry about the morning session. plus, i hope that no new students enrol under student care because i heard my supervisor saying she might close down the afternoon session of student care. that means i can spend more time helping my colleagues with the toddlers.

that's about it i guess.

anyways, i just sourced a school where i can take my Fundamental Early Childhood course. it's under Learning Capital and the earliest date i can start is around the 3rd week of October. it's a 4 month long course and it's approved by the government.

yeay me!

the eve, the 1st and the 2nd

the above two collages are of the dining set and kuih set that mother bought especially for Hari Raya. every single item has flower prints on them. i normally like flower printed stuff just because i like flowers, especially purple hued flowers. luckily the flower themed deco wasn't overdone.

on the first day of Raya, i went to visit my maternal grandmother, she happens to be celebrating Raya this year over at Yishun with one of aunts family. she's usually in Choa Chu Kang during Raya. i got to meet Mr Amirul, one of my many nephews. well i won't officially become an auntie until my sister gets married and has a son.

i'm wearing the headscarf because it's the first day of Raya and i made mother a promise, long ago, that every first day of Raya i will be wearing the headscarf.

basically the first day of Raya this year was a bit mellow, i don't know due to what reasons but i could feel the lack of merriness during the festive month. maybe because i was asleep at my aunt's house or that i'm getting older.

these are the outfits worn on the first and second day respectively. i think mother looks fetching in that shade of pink, don't you think so? it's a peachy kind of pink hue. maybe next year i will want to buy that shade of pink for Raya outing with the Clique. this year punye Raya belom lepas dah planning untuk Raya tahun depan, entah dapat jumpe ke tak. haha.

there it is, a slight glimpse of my shoes. the outfit for the 2nd day was a pantsuit. i'm not sure whether i would want to continue with this design next year 'cos sister said it made us look like Vietnamese girls. hot looking ones i suppose. haha.

well that's all. i'll update about yesterday's open house event soon-ish.

i want to curl up beside my favourite stuffed toy and go to sleep.

they come, they go

i've been at home since about 3 in the afternoon. decided to walk around CWP for abit before heading home, i remembered to buy lunch too. faulty memory and all.

work just now was almost a dreadful bore but Mr Brayden Koh was around to make everyone laugh with his antics. besides him only 2 other children came. none of my students were present and so i had a very peaceful Saturday morning. i was kinda puzzled over the lack of attendance but my colleagues assured me that on a usual Saturday there would be about 10 children. i guess it must be a lucky Saturday for me albeit a boring one.

after that my colleagues and me waited until 1.55pm before signing out and leaving the centre just in case our supervisor decided to pop in and check on us. i walked to CWP with Audris today, talked about stuff and i'm thankful to her for giving me advice on how to handle the students under student care. bottom line is i have to be more firm with them.

and now i'm waiting for visitors to come around mother said that we will be expecting quite a number and most of them will be cousins and my aunts and uncles. truth be told i won't cherish the prospect of serving them, well some of them anyways. the good news is that Uncle Yat and Aunty Sal are coming to visit for Hari Raya too. i cannot wait to see cousin Mischa. hell i'm always looking forward to meeting dear cousin Mischa.

i know i haven't posted anything up about he goings on of the eve and the first two days of raya. i'll prolly do it by next week when i have more time. still getting used to my working hours and all that.

au revoir readers!

TGIF!

the weekends are finally here though i still have to go to work tomorrow. I'll be starting at 7am. wonder how i will manage to wake up on time seeing that it's a Saturday.

well anyways, work just now was tiring, especially in the morning. the afternoon session kids were more controllable since the two 'leaders' weren't present. i think i'm finally getting a hang of this disciplining and being firm with them thing.

oh, and tomorrow i have to remember to ask them to write their own classroom rules. i wonder how that'll work out. hopefully having them write their own rules will give them a sense of responsibility. hopefully.

by the way, have i said how adorable the toddler are? 'cos they really are super adorable. i would love to bring home my faves one day. and that for certain is never gonna happen.

hello :)

Hari Raya is finally here and it's always one of the more fun times in the year. Though i hope next year i'll be able to welcome the month of Ramadhan again.

anws, there has been a lack of updates through the weekend. reason being, i was too busy doing the last minute cleaning of the house. i didn't even manage to go to S.I.N 2009 because of it. what a bummer, well there's always next year.

i'll be off then , i'm going to Aunt Sal's house. can't wait to see all my cousins.

bye!

super happy weekend

" when life gives you lemons, try to make orange juice. just for the fun of it"

the quote, sungguh tak masuk akal but who cares. i'm in one of my suddenly senile mood swings.

work today was better but my patience was totally tested during the afternoon. i'll not go into the details 'cos it's gonna irk me even more and i won't be able to sleep.

anyways, during lunch break where i finally got some peace and quiet, i had a nice convo with one of my colleagues. it's nice having someone to talk to, someone who understands the stress involved with working with children.

i've decided to take mandarin classes and take one up another skill related to my jobscope, once i've financially plan how i use my money that is. that won't take too long, i hope.

i also realised my paragraphs are incomplete. i think i'm too tired to blog properly. so you guys pandai-pandai fill-in-the-blanks okay?

au revoir!

still trying.

Dramatic afternoon lah sey. harhar!

i don't want to go into the details 'cos all these dramas are beginning to annoy and tire me. it's only the 4th day for goodness sake. i have to deal with SQ and her nemeses in the morning. i have to deal with Mr Crybaby and his nemeses in the afternoon. God save me from further drama.

well anyways,
i had to break up a fight during their playtime. it was in public sey. i'm sure people were staring from their windows wondering what the racket was. i had to shout in public. damn embarrassing.

note to self: question cousin on how to control pre-teens since she has a degree in psychology.

by next week i will get something done to handle them disciplinary problems in class, namely the lack of listening to MY instructions. i should work on my presence in class too, i think. i suffer from being too much of a go-with-the-flow kinda person and i'm damn sure the students think i'm a pushover. hopefully all of this problems will be resolved by Friday next week. goodluck myra!

okay now for the tag replies. ",

NRZ: oittt, GCBFN&F ape kebende? 0_0
myra: it's the initials of my 6 devilcats at homelah. you don't rmbr their names huh?

NRZ: and paling tak le angs, crybaby. tu part kan, mcm nk amek scotchtape tampal kat mulut drg. =.= naseb baek bulan puase ye...bnyk bersabar. hehehe
myra: dok, aku dh terlebih bersabar. haha. well i'm not called superpatient for nothing.

NRZ: now you knw how i feel with the kids? lol! and yeaa, I HATE TEACHERS PET WANNABE. sumpah sak irritating! aku pong mcm nk SEPAKTRAJANG tu budak. LOL!
myra: yeah babes, and aku boleh imagine je part yang aku tgh SEPAKTRAJANG tu budak. kalo buat betol2 kene sack siots. but truthfully i'm tempted to do it sometimes.

shaie: dramamama betol eh nie budak2 semue. mmg nk kene ikat uh pat kerusi and scotch tape mulot diorg.
myra: you don't know the half of it, there are a few i would like to do that to. haha

NANA: hahahahha. aku da tak sabar nak dengar cerita die, hehs.
myra: nana sentiase tk sabar. :p

Nadd: Hahahahaha! True true, Nana!!
this one i don't know what to reply. -_-'

Little Spoilt Brat: lol
Little Spoilt Brat: bahasa baku ke apa ?
Little Spoilt Brat: ikat itu semua monyet di kerusi sahaja , tidak akan ada masalah lagi .
myra: sister dear, aku rase kau dah gile. haha. tkde link akunye reply. -_-'

NANA: you have no one to say this to; "Nadd kau ckp, aku tkde suare ah." hehs. You have to do your job babe. BL boleh elak lagi sekarang no more babe. hehs.
myra: yea i know, the responsibilties are definitely more heavier. and the diff between BL is that i don't have sarcastic remarks from my students since they still haven't learn the beauty of sarcasm. haahs, mcm phm. -_-'

and i'm done, need to fill in the blanks of my contract.

cheers people!

third time's the charm

you know that saying. you have to try something at least 3 times for it to work. that phrase so doesn't work with them kids. it's the third day of work and i'm still trying to get a hand at controlling the kids

now, for a fact, i know that i need and have to take Chinese language classes so i can communicate with my students better. well at least i'll know they aren't insulting me to my face. and, i think i want to do it in secret. now i'm imagining myself walking into class and suddenly speaking in mandarin, the expression on my students faces would be priceless. father did say i'd earn more respect from the students. it's going to take a long time for me to take those language classes 'cos i have to start planning for my financial future. it was mother's idea that i do so. save up for a rainy day, she says but i know it's actually code for save up for your marriage in the future. *insertsarcasticfacehere* i swear she's caught one of my aunts' bug, the whenareyougonnagetmarriedbug. sheesh

well anyways, today's drama is...

The Sulking Queen. jengjengjeng jeng. harhar!

there is this one student, i call her SQ ( read: Sulking Queen ), well i don't actually call her that out loud. it's a name i gave her secretly. well, i've never bitched about people and wrote down their names, never have and never will start.

this girl is just the typical wannabe "Teacher's Pet". sumpah tak menjadi sebab aku find her irritating. she's always complaining and crying, yes she's one of the crybabies in class. well today was no different. the day started with them getting along well, then 'chaos' erupted. everyone started quarreling. well i had to shout at them to be quiet and then asked them to explain one by one, SQ kept on interrupting.

in the end the cause of the whole 'chaos' was the fact that SQ said something about one of my other students and couldn't take what the other student said back to her.

the other thing that i don't really favour is that she always keep asking me to help her with her homework or assessment. what am i? a walking answering machine?

so when i told her she should TRY, TRY to do it on her own first then come back to me when she's done so that i can go through with her the mistakes she made. it'd be a better learning experience for her anyways. you know what she did? she had the cheek to make the imsulkingface at me and then went back to her table and then didn't do anything.

i've already made it up in my mind to be fair to all my students. and i'm going to stick to that decision. nothing is going to sway me, well i hope nothing will ever make me take back that decision. hehs

okay bye! wait for tomorrow's drama though i'm fervently hoping that no drama will occur. contradicting much?

Teacher Myra! Teacher Myra!

the one phrase that i think can sum up the behaviour of my students is, constant irritable drama.

i swear it's like watching a drama in real time. what with the bullying, the telling of stories, the ideas and the sudden explanation of things i really don't need to know. if it was aired on the telly i would title it - Student Care AM-PM Drama. me and my colleague, Audris will be the main protagonists. there's constant breaking up of quarrels, trying to talk sense to the crybabies and just trying to keep the students under control. oh, i just found out today that i can actually use my voice to shout. harhar!

i think it's because the atmosphere is more serious than being a BL- and 'cos i'm getting paid to do my work- , this is because you have to follow a schedule and make sure that the students daily work are completed and after that they can have their own time which is usually trying to annoy the hell out of me. not to worry though, i am getting a hang of it. i managed to do everything on my own 'cos Audris was on leave.

i think i still need a pass since it's a chore to wait for them to open the door for me every time i go out with the kids. i had to borrow a colleague's pass just so i can send and fetch them students to and from, school.

by the way, today's drama was The Case of The Missing Things. it somehow got connected to bullying and a small piece of paper. confusing? you don't know the half of it. trying to talk sense to the morning crybaby was no walk in the park.

God give me strength and more patience.

okay bye! :)

I am officially a Student Care Teacher. *edited*

as you all know i started work today, officially. after months and months of waiting that is. ironic how the ITE cert that i graduated with has nothing to do with my current job scope. which in layman's term - babysitting. though i earn lots more than those babysitting stints i had in the past.

i seriously thought that if those kids were anything like my Saturday morning ones, i'd probably die. this is because 2 hours with those little rascals won't ever compare to a full day with my new students. like i said, i'd probably be in intensive care right about now. thank goodness, the students. correction, my new students are nothing like those little rascals. though they are still in primary school their thinking is different. well sure i had to raise my voice a couple of times but they treat me with respect nonetheless. they are still young children.

i guess i better stop it at here, a few lines into this post i realize that what i'm posting has nothing to with my first day at work.

i'll sum it up in a few words. it was okay, interesting and somewhat fun though towards the end of day i got kinda bored and sleepy.

okay bye! :)

updates

this is Nala in a box.

anyways, i do not know what to start with. i've had quite a busy weekend. and tomorrow i start work. i'm so bloody excited that i can't sleep. i should sleep since i'm starting work but i can't. don't know why i'm excited and i'm talking in bloody circles.

i guess i'll start with yesterday's outing with my cousins. i have pictures though they are not that good, i was hungry and lazy. i edited it halfheartedly too.

then there'll be today's events. got some pictures but they are badly edited too. i was tired and hungry. who wouldn't be? it is the fasting month. and usually around this time all Muslim families are rushing to decorate and furnish their houses with everything new. i'm proud to say that i did all by myself. the putting up of new curtains, the changing of the cushions, i did all by myself. i feel good. haha.

here are pictures, not necessarily in order.



i went out to break fast with these two lovely ladies you see above. we broke our fast around Arab Street area, near Masjid Sultan. i had beef steak, tried western for a change. the food wasn't that good but i was hungry. what do i care, right? now i sound like a glutton.

i saw somethings i shouldn't even see during Ramadhan. i mean who the hell performs kuda kepang dance during Ramadhan. have you no respect for the holy month? doesn't matter if no one was possessed or that kind of shit, you just should know better. to think that it was performed near Masjid Sultan? plain stupid. i can't appreciate it 'cos i know it is wrong.

enough about that, here are before and after pictures of the curtains and a stupid, EMPTY beehive i found hanging in my parents' room. don't bees know how to demolish their old houses? okay, now i'm just being stupid. their just insects. *makesintellegiblenosies*



and i'm done for today. bye people.

officially employed.

this must be one of the most happiest days of my life. i finally got hired. to think that i almost missed this interview because i couldn't find my ic. before all of you wonder what job i got, after months of waiting, go to this link - click here.

it'll be better than me trying to explain 'cos i'm too excited to explain. harharhar.

i start work next Monday at 9am. the place itself is within walking distance of my house so i save alot on transport. unless of course i'm tired and decide to take the bus home.

the plus side of getting this job is that they're sending me to take a professional course on infant care. to think that the babysitting and the contract work every Saturday morning would pay off some day. i guess experience pays, and i now know why i couldn't get hired before. regardless of what they say, employers prefer their future employees to be experienced in the field they want to be working in.

i'm so happy that i'm not pissed at boyfriend anymore. well, maybe just a little.

just around the corner.

i'm feeling a lot happier but knowing my current sitch, i shouldn't be feeling that happy. well what to do, i'm weird that way. harhar.

anyways, Hari Raya is around the corner and i'm still without shoes. mother gave me a scare just now when she said that i'll not be able to get new shoes this year. my heart skipped a beat at that remark. mother sure knows how to stress me out. imagine me on the first day of Raya wearing slippers instead of heels. i swear i'll not want to go anywhere for the rest of the festivities.

sister has decided to buy sandals for this year's Raya, i'm still thinking about it, buying sandals instead of heels that is. it'd be weird since i've not been without heels to wear during Raya since i turned 15. maybe i should try out something new. see how that works out when i go shoe shopping next Friday.

the other event that's around the corner is Super Import Nights' 2009. i promised brother i would bring him to the exhibition again this year. he had fun at last year's exhibition. he has a fascination with cars and whatnot. while sister and me have fascinations over hot bikes. hopefully there'll be a few bikes at this year's exhibition like last year's. i'm still in love with the pink bike i saw last year.

so, financial wise, i'll have to save this month's salary for the shoe shopping session with mother and sister and for the S.I.N 2009 event.

aku tak sabar lah.

i got distracted

i switched on my laptop with the intention of updating my blog however, i got distracted by Facebook, Youtube, Plurk and blog hopping. now my laptop battery is going to go dead soon and I'm overcome by laziness to go and take the charger in the next room. myra pemalas.

well, maybe later or tomorrow, I've a lot to do now. hehs.

i'm a fan, deal with it.

Paramore again.

silly random moments

i've just returned from an interview at ICA HQ for the position as an HAS-ICA Specialist. you'll usually see these uniformed officers manning immigration counters. they're the ones who'll facilitate the movement of visitors in and out of Singapore from the various immigration checkpoints across the country. well, they do have other responsibilities as immigration officers but i'll leave it at that.

i was actually psyched for the interview. i read through their website, prepared answers for the normal questions they would ask and prepared some questions that i would like to ask them in return. i reviewed the questions and answers over and over in my head until it was my turn for the interview.

i totally didn't expect more than 3 officers to be interviewing me so naturally i was a bit shocked to see 4 people waiting for me, instantly my knees went weak and all the hard work i put into memorising all the words i wanted to say just came crashing out of my head. like, just 'whoosh!'. completely gone in an instant. so did my confidence. boy, was i nervous. thankfully the interview went pretty well. the interviewers were pretty amicable, cracking a joke a couple times. the only concern they had was of me being pretty small and soft-spoken.

anyways i seriously hope that i get a callback, at least i can prove to them that i'm capable of handling the responsibilities of being an immigration officer.

on a lighter note,
this, incident or maybe this thing happened a few days ago while i was talking to sister. we were talking about a lot of stuff when i suddenly commented that i wanted to go to the Reggae festival, which is happening soon, i think. not sure of the date as of yet. sister also commented that she wanted to go too but the date of the festival will be clashing with her 'O's. after that, she screamed. the sort that made you itch to slap her face and it was pretty high-pitched too. however, instead of slapping her in the face, like she deserves, i laughed. laughed so hard that i couldn't breathe properly. well, you may not find it funny just by reading this post but the total randomness of her reaction made me laugh.

well, i'm done for the day.

so yesterday i went to break my fast with the Clique. i had fun, that's all i can say.
i'll admit i'm still a little bit fatigued even though i woke up late today. i wasn't even half awake for my morning meal. just had a cup of tea and went back to sleep. i was that tired.

anyways,
i just returned from CWP, printed all the necessary documents and bought some document files. i didn't realise i was in sucha rush 'cos i was done with everything in half an hour and there was a considerably long line at the printing place. it's scary sometimes when i'm on my single-minded focus mode. the things i can get done. *shivers*

Aki said that i should skip the marketing interview tomorrow. i'm not that sure yet. my confidence in not screwing up the ICA interview is quite high since father has been very vocal about his optimism in me getting the job. fingers crossed eh, since anything can happen.

maybe my parents have been praying so that i'm successful in getting a job, sooner or later.
let their prayers be answered i guess, i will get the job!

sheesh, now i'm sounding just a tad bit cocky.

the love letter

today was considered the last day of lessons before the two weeks worth of holidays for these little rascals. i'm going to miss them.



the second thing is that i cannot wait to meet the clique and my girls for dinner later. it's been soo long. i'm going to hug them till their spines break. violent, i know but that's we show love and affection. we are having dinner at MacRex. i've never been to that makanplace but i'm looking forward to the food. the food and the company, it will surely be one fun dining experience.

here comes the love letter part.

Dear *insertnamehere*

i don't understand why you can't be more thoughtful and tactful. you demand fairness but you aren't fair to others. you demand freedom but you take advantage of it. you demand respect but you don't show it. you always take but never give.

you say you are capable of taking care of yourself, that you are mature and responsible. but all i see is disappointment and worry lines on their faces. you have to remember that they are getting older every year. they shouldn't have to worry constantly about you anymore because you are getting older yourself. let their worrying rest on the youngest in the house. that's where it should have been the moment you turned 17.

i'm not saying that i'm such a perfect daughter to them but i try. maybe you should try too. then maybe you will get the freedom, the fairness and the respect and trust you deserve. even if they give you a little, just take it.

there are reasons why they don't allow us latenights, they know better. trustme, having your own way will never work unless you learn to take a little and give a little.

all i ask is that you try, yes you. no names need be mentioned here.

lastly, i'm feeling disappointed.

boy, why'd your love has to be so wicked.

movies-schmovies

i want to watch G-Force because i fine talking animals with attitude very cute.
and i want to watch I Love You, Beth Cooper! because i'm a Hayden Panettiere fan. plus i think the movie is sweet. the nerd proclaiming his love for the most popular girl in school.

what can i say, i tend to fall for cute and sweet movies.

photo update, finally.

i finally figured out how sister puts the photos up on her blog, not the camera photos but photos from her handphone and she didn't think it be nice to let me know. could have used the memory card adapter all along. i'm so dumb sometimes.

well anyways, the first picture is from my trip to the National Orchid Gardens few weeks back. tried using the macro function on the camera phone and i must say that it turned out pretty nice. well, pretty nice for someone who hasn't tried photography before.


girls, you may remember this picture from a previous post. Nala seemingly trying to teach me maths, lab maths and logarithm at that. i call her 'Princess' because she acts a bit spoiled sometimes. i guess she knows she's a pretty cat. it was the same for Baby, i still miss her though, Baby i mean. i think it's been a year or maybe less. Nala and Baby could have been very close if Baby were still around 'cos truthfully they are both very beautiful looking cats and boy, do they know it.


if Nala was trying to teach me maths then Fluffy is trying to help sister with her art. the cats surely know how to put a smile on my face.


the cat below is some random cat i took a shot of. I named it Mittens 'cos it looks like the cat, Mittens from the movie Bolt.


there are some similarities, don't you think?

sleepy, tired and annoyed.

that is how i'm feeling right now. i'm so ready to just fall on the mattress flat like that. it sucks to have been woken up by a rude man from the Human Resources department of some company. i'll probably get into major trouble if i typed out the name. i'm already in trouble so no sense in making more trouble for myself.

it sucks even more to not be able to download the form properly from my email. i swear i hate using pdf type applications. so bloody difficult to type it on the spot and i have no cash on me to go and print it out.

i guess i can screw over the the interview 'cos i won't be able to complete the form in time.

i'm blaming my run of bad luck this time 'cos everything seems to go wrong.

baahs. i give up.

unlucky

i'm like very close to exploding. i thought i had saved my resume the last time i created it but sadly the desktop decided to be mean to me and not save it. so, i have to do it again. i could just open the attachment saved in my email but that refuses to open too. what bloody luck.

the only good thing that's happening now is that the modem is working again.

oh, and, seriously those stories are a hundred years old already lah. i didn't care then so what makes you think i'll care now?

like i said on Plurk, it's like you have a savings account of dusty old stories. get a life can, reflect on how you brought up your children before you create stories about me. fyFi, they're no better then me so just piss off.

another update

the previous post was absurdly incorrect. the clique gathering has been postponed to this Saturday. the venue is some makanplace in Dhoby Ghaut. i can bring along Moon unless he has already made other plans beforehand. hopefully he hasn't lah. have to confirm by tonight.

i think it's been ages since the Clique had a gathering, the last was in March, annual Clique picnic. so it has been a few months.

anyways, i have an interview on Thursday and another one on Monday. the interview on Monday will be the marketing one i missed since i had the misfortune to fall sick. *insertweirdsoundshere*

i guess i have to try and google info on marketing, again.