todae...i had a break down in skool ( of all places )...all because i was so fucking stressed...i was unable to do the practical test and got all stressed up becos of that, stupid ain't it...hmmm...i won't score for any more of my future tests becos i cant seem to concentrate when iym at skool or wen i try to revise at home, wat the point of me coming for and atending lessons if my brain isnt really absorbing wat iym learning and keeping it there, sure i can do it but wen i want to revise at night, it just goes out the window like...WHOOSH!


i was so frustrated, damn frustrated.....and losing my independence becos of my depression is the one thing that hurts me most, i have always been independent and always there for others even if it meant burdening myself with their problems, the mistake that i made was to listen to anyone who has problems but that has got to change someway or the other becos it is soo not helping my depression get better, in fact i'd say my depression is getting worse and worse....and fruther more iym stil waiting for my psychie to call so i can start my treatment posthaste becos i need it now more than ever after this morning's emotional scene....


i dun knw why but iym a private sort of person and am soo not use to telling people my problems or darkset secrets, even to peole who are the closest to me but i have to change this mindset of mine for the better lest i risk losing friends that havc been there for me all this while.
does it make me a monster becos iym not used to sharing but onli used to listening to others, does it makes me a freak becos of this disease that iym burdened with...not only am i burdening my parents but everyone else around me,


oh... wen will my bout with depression end? i am still waitng for my psychie to give me a call for treatment.....


I WANT THIS TO END SOO BADLY, IYM SICK OF PRETENDING TO BE HApPY WEN IYM SO OBVIOUSLY NOT & I DUN WANT TO BE HAPPY ONLI FOR A MOMENT BUT FOR THAT HAPPINESS TO LAST



gawd!!!iym such a freaking monster

somebody just push from the top of a building to make this pain go away and never return.

YEAY!!!! MY DEAREST SISTER, NAD HAS JUST COME BACK FROM HER ROADTRIP....

and obviously iym darn happy and she bought me a advanced birthday prezzie ;) *hint hint

she came back and iym happy... wait i said that already, jus shows how much i missed her and our nightly sharing sessions.....

well the convo went like this,

me: eyy!! u back oreadi i thought u was missing ?
sissie : wat sia! lyk that i just came back u knw
me: sori luh niwaes how was the trip??
sissie : it was cool and guess wat ....
me: wat?!
sissie: i wanna wish u happy advanced birthday...nah here is ur prezzie

and she gave me this cute looking pencil case...&& the rest is history

iym just glad to have her back...


*hint hint birthday in 4 more days ppl!!

boohoo :*(

my cat, lucky is sick, very sick....
that's what my father told me luh and after seeing it for myself i agreed with him...
aww my poor kitty cat....he hasn't been eating well and is so weak that he just lays on the floor feeling absolutely dreadful for himself i suppose...need to bring dear Lucky to the vet as soon as possible.... but no cash on me. how sey like that.

hope he gets well soon if my lil brother were to stop disturbing him every waking hour. sheesh!

Hmmmm....
i finally finished with my speech for tomorrow's hcms lesson. y we even have this class i dun know, it isn't a part of our modules and frankly i think its a bloody waste of time...i could have been at home and resting not having to stay in skool until so late in the afternoon...

my speech is about wildlife conservation and how we can help by simple activities such as the recycling of paper....its a topic close to my heart and of cos i find it easy to do, well even though i did a lot of cut and paste from the internet website.....but at least i hve completed it right??

tdae....
kinda bored cos i have nothing more, else to do

changed my blogskin like three times this week...

Jamie, sori for being so fickle about my blog and sori for changing it after u did it for me....gawd!! iym so fickle nowadays && hopefully i stick to this skin for the meanwhile....

hmmm...
nothing much has been happening, eventhough i haven't blogged for a long time....

well basically the bigges news is that iym depressed...even i cant believe that iym depressed
i dun think gerls my age get depressed....and i wanna thank the ministry of education for making me depressed...THANKS ALOT YARHS, NOW I CAN-not- TOTALLY COPE WITH MY STUDIES! lols

kk thats it byes

ouh ouh....i think it's nice luh cos i did it LOLS

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