i'm going to scrap my new year eve plans and just go with the flow. if anyone asks me out i'll be free. i just dont want to stay put in one place.

having a dejavu moment right now, i just had a feeling that my new year eve will be like last year's. and last year's was horrible.

New Year Eve plans?

So yesterday was Xmas, and today's Boxing day. the traffic at work will be horrible like it was yesterday. less so for the human traffic. other than that, work so far has been good.

anyways, new year eve is around the corner, no plans as of yet but still working on it. my off day happens to fall on the 31st but on the 1st of Jan 2010 will be my morning shift so it has dampened my plans as of now. planning to ask the boy out on new year eve but i have a feeling it will not come true since he dislikes crowded places.

i may be going out with sister unless of course she has new year plans of her own and if she does i'll most likely to be at home staying up all night. i think my life's sounding pathetic at this point in the post. haha.

my love life is going stagnant again, which for me is perfectly normal. it'll get exciting for a few weeks and then go stagnant again. well whatever, i'm way used to it already.

Monday will be my off day, i have plans to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 with the family unless of course father has to go to work - he's extremely busy this time of year though i'm still hoping that he'll make it. if not then i have plan B to watch Sherlock Holmes with the boy and if that does not happen either i'll be staying at home as per usual. i swear my life's getting boring.

a pretty interesting week.

it has been sucha tiring week, i think i'm getting used to the cyclic shift pattern. the night shift experience wasn't that bad 'cos i managed to stay up the whole night even though there were more than enough beds to have an hour's nap. it was the morning shift i had trouble with. not a morning person to begin with so it came to no surprise that i was late on my first and second days of the morning shift. it didn't help though that i was passed around from one mentor to another but i'm already getting used to it. though the OC did say that he will try to stick me to my current mentor.

anyways, my new working life isn't that bad. i kinda like it or i may begin to like it more after awhile. it's the presence of so many strange faces, strange female faces that got me on edge. my girls should know that i don't mix with other girls except them and my ite clique, so yeah. besides the whole lot of them are mostly malay girls. it's funny how i cannot get along with most malay girls. okay maybe i'm stereotyping all of them since, i haven't had the opportunity to talk with them so i shouldn't be judging them too soon. there are a few kindred spirits, a few were my mentors so i had a chance to talk to them. about 50% of the girls there have been in the service more than 5 years so there was alot to learn from them.

i've had a chance to do my hands on ojt and i find it surprisingly straight forward, especially the departure part. the arrival part, well there's more to do and take note of. but all in all, my current mentor says i'm doing fine except that i have a tendency to rush through the clearance.

she keeps reminding em not to rush through the clearance procedures 'cos even if i do things fast the crowd will still be there. that's about the only thing i have to take note of, never rush through the clearance.

for me, the only interesting part of working in this line is the chance to hold and look at different type of passports.

the only downside is that i look at hundreds of faces, repeat the same type of questions and sit on the chair until my back hurts and when it does, i'll be doing my job standing up.

i guess every job has it's pros and cons.

and that's about it, i'd better sleep since i'm going out tomorrow with mother to JB.

bye people. :)

Last Perfect Weekend.

I'll officially start my shift work on Monday. I'm so happy that the Commander gave us the weekend off. Monday will be my afternoon shift and the following day will be my off day which is in total accordance to the roster given to us.

I still have to find time to re-read my EECUS notes 'cos i swear i've forgotten most of it.

Anyways, my pay has come in and i have yet to divide my finances. There are bills and debts to settle. Money to be given to the family and my grandmas. I have to plan to save a fixed amount every month. Of course i'll be spending some. My colleagues are planning a final gathering on Sunday if i'm not wrong. One final gathering before we officially start work that is. I'm sure going to miss their laughable antics.

So basically i'm going to make this the most perfect weekend of the whole year. I already have plans on Saturday, which is shopping with my cousin. And Sunday will probably be spent with the colleagues.

I also have plans with the boyfriend on Tuesday, i will include Tuesday as part of my perfect weekend even though it s actually a week day. Okay, redundant sentence but you know what i mean.

That's about it, oh, before i forget, girls i'll let all of you know when my off days are once i get used to the first shift cycle, okay?

Birthday Surprise!

i actually intended to post a wordy one but now i find myself at a loss for words. there are pictures and videos and as you know pictures can paint a thousand words more than any description would suffice. not that it would, especially in this case when i'm out having fun with my favourite ladies. :)

okay the content of this post includes a picture of the day, picture of the present that my girls gave me and a few videos. i do not know how to combine the vids so there'll be a lot of them . enjoy :)


kinkiest present i've ever received. ;p

okay, correction, i've decided to post the vids up on fb instead. It's because i'm just plain fickle minded and because Nana just gave me new info about the privacy settings for vids on fb. sesungguhnya aku sungguh bodoh nak mampos.

plus, i swear i'm losing the inclination to blog at all. hmm.

another correction, i've decided to combine the vids, it will make it that much easier to post it up on fb anyways. but it may take days. which i'm not looking forward to.

Birthday update.

just going to post pictures that i edited. not much just two 'cos i made one collage.

again, i'd like to thank everybody, from the bottom of my heart, who wished me during my birthday. i truly appreciate it. :)

again, i'm supposed to be blogging about my birthday. but i got no mood lagi.

something happened in class so yeah that's why i got no mood. i don't blame anybody in class about making noise 'cos i made noise too but seriously the way our officer in charge screwed us up was not appropriate. senang kate cara die merepek lah.

if she wants to scold us then fine, i don't mind. but she should learn to do it in an objective way. this was what Khai said to me just now so i copy and paste. i have no idea why it's not objective or whatever shit but now i seriously do not like her.

well actually i never liked her in the first place so that was a very redundant statement. . .

okay i'm done for now.

updates will be posted as soon as tomorrow, till then. :)

Baptism by Fire

again it's been awhile.

training lectures had been getting drier and drier. for now i'm thankful that the whole week will be used up for site visits. infinitely more interesting than having to stay in class everyday but in class is where all the important lectures take place so i have to bear with it.

i know where i'm posted to after i end my training. and it's no surprise that its woodlands command. on top of that i'll be working the night shift on my first day. interesting.

what i'm afraid of is the busyness of Woodlands Command. it's one of the busiest checkpoints in Spore so i will be baptized by fire if i'm unlucky on my first day.

well that's about it, and i think i need change my blog skin.

bye people!

I missed blogging...

It has been quite awhile since i updated my blog page. I have been posting short updates on my tumblr page instead. It's kinda more convenient and not to mention faster to post short updates.

i've been thinking of privatizing this blog and use my tumblr page more regularly. and, i'm still thinking. maybe all that my blog needs is a new skin but i have absolutely no time nor the energy to pick and edit codes.

the lack of energy is due to the constant string of invitations to dinner and supper by my friends, not just my colleagues but my other friends too. it always happen to fall on a weekday and i'll be damn sleepy the next morning.

enough of the whining, yeah?

anyways, i think i've bonded quite well with my workmates. started off pretty awkward 'cos i take awhile to warm up to new people but now all's good. and one of my colleague recently moved to woodlands all the way from punggol, if i'm not wrong. he has volunteered to go to and from HTA with me, with his bike. i declined at first 'cos he has a girlfriend and from experience most gf's do not like their bf's having a another pillion rider besides themselves. eventually i relented since he assured me his gf is the okay type and i assured him my bf won't mind either. he helped me save my transport money and i thank him for that. and, i do intend to help pay for his gas money.

by the way, the bike he is riding for now is a KR, oh the irony. harhar.

Attention!

updates will be at my tumble log for the time being. or until i get used to the working hours. i'm always exhausted by the time i reach home, even though the lessons are mostly in class.

till then, bye!

hello :)

it has been awhile aye. before i begin, i'd like to say, "Girls, if you want to see my new hair cut please wait till we meet up. :)"

i won't be posting a lengthy one, just a summary of my week. i've been so exhausted this past week that i don't think i'll be able to blog often in the near future. maybe once or twice in a week. 3 times, if i'm lucky.

well anyways, i started training for my new job already. i have to say that this past week has been quite okay. okay in a sense that i'm settling in and all that goes with it. i made new friends and got accustomed to traveling to work. having been so lucky as to being able to walk to and from my old workplace, travelling got me a bit pissed 'cos i had to fork out money for the transport fare. though, i got over it already. haha

i've received my uniform and i'll have to wear it on Monday. the shoes have not arrived yet but i hope that i read and wrote the correct size according to the measurement chart. haha.

besides making new friends, the event that made my week almost perfect was the dinner i had with Mr Moon! though it was short, it is appreciated. i talked about my training mostly to him.
bottomline is that i got to meet him even for a short while. i'm a happy girl this week.

i guess that's about it. don't mind the typos 'cos i'm freaking tired already.

Sunday morning

it's a weekend and i'm up bloody early in the morning. followed mother to work today, on the way to her workplace she showed me the location of HTA. it was a 15 min ride to HTA from CCK mrt station. Even though i'm going with Aki tomorrow morning, it's still nice somehow to know where HTA is 'cos i don't want to be a lost sheep on the first day of work. i don't mind being a lost sheep at school but at work, no way!

now, i'm waiting for mother to end her overtime shift so that we both can head down to IMM, first to cancel sister's cellphone plan, since she's using prepaid now. second is to go window shopping and who knows i might have forgotten to buy some things. and, of course to have our breakfast or maybe lunch. depends on the time we reach IMM that is.

i'd better get off the computer before mother gets into trouble with her boss because of me. hes.

it's not surprising anymore

it's a Sunday, sadly i'm still at home.

i was supposed to be out with boyfriend but he had to cancel it cos of family. i suspected that the date will be cancelled when he didn't call me yesterday night. it just isn't surprising anymore but it is disappointing nonetheless. i turn a blind eye because of the love i feel for him.

love makes us so oblivious of the hurt that we feel sometimes until it decides to show itself. by then it'll be too late to do anything about it but love is patient and love is understanding. so, nothing can stand in it's way until we choose or decide to do something. and that's why we always stand by the ones we love no matter how much they hurt us. even love has it's imperfections.

maybe later i'll be going down to check if my salary has been banked in. if it is then i'll prolly wait for mother to come home so i can go shopping for the stuff i need. retail therapy will really help me get over my disappointment.

too bad sister will be going out with her babyboy later, i need her around to help me make up my mind whenever i go shopping.

well whatever, i love going shopping with mother too. she knows what type of clothes suit me anyways. hopefully my salary is in by now. if not i'll be stuck at home dealing with my disappointment in him.

busy week ahead

funny how my week will start on a weekend instead of the usual Mondays. whatever it may be, i will be quite busy for the next few days prepping for ICA and other personal stuffs.

i have things to buy, quite a list actually and for that i have to plan how much to spend and how much to save 'cos i won't be getting my salary until December. how very sad.

i have to make sure that i have money for public transport saved up. i will be using public transport to get to and from HTA anyways so might as well count that into my finances. i don't want to end up strapped for bus and train fares. i wonder how much i'll get.

before all the happy spending, i have to make sure my bills are paid.

now the question is, should i spend half and save half? i'll be nice to my siblings this time around and give them some pocket money. i also want to give some money to my parents and grandmamas.

this just gives me more headaches man and i don't need it now that i'm having a bloody fever to content with.

stuck at home

so here i am sitting at home with a viral fever going on in my body. i have loads of time on my hands and i don't know what to do with it. usually, i'm good at wasting time. pfft!

i've spent the better part of the morning snoozing in bed, with the fever and all the symptoms it makes the body weak. woke up around noon-ish? chatted on msn after months not even signing in because i've been using Plurk to chat with the girls and it's whole lot more fun than chatting on msn.

i'm done with my laundry, and it's not even 6 yet! oh man, this is one of the slowest days i've had in the year.

anyways, i've been alternating between plurk, facebook and searching for blog skins but got bored as you can see. i wanted to change my blog skin but couldn't decide on a skin plus reading the codes when you're drowsy from medication only serves to make you more drowsy and i feel a major headache coming on. i don't even know how i can even blog in the state of drowsiness i'm in. *shakeshead*

well, whatever, i only hope my fever will subside and disappear come Sunday morning 'cos i won't be able to go out with the boyfriend like that. it's been too long anyways.

what a day

it wasn't really a tiring day but i still felt tired. maybe because it was raining in the afternoon?

well anyways, there were only 3 students present for the morning session and i was like surprised but grateful 'cos i wasn't in the mood to be dealing with annoying students. as my girls would know, i was late for work today due to unforeseen circumstances so it partly explains the mood i'm in.

and now, i'm hungry and sleepy. so if i don't get food to eat soon i'll end up like the kitty in the picture above.

not gonna be a pretty picture i assure you.

how time flies

i had quite a normal day at work today. normal when you're working with kids that is. i bet that one of the things that i'll miss about working with kids is observing their behaviour during their day to day routines at the centre. doesn't sound like that much fun right, observing kids but i find it interesting the way they interact with each other and when they throw temper tantrums.

yes, temper tantrums. though it's always a pain in the arse i find it funny sometimes. weird? well that's just me.

and i've only realised i've left about a week at the centre before i move on to ICA. well if i were to be specific, 9 days but really who's keeping track?

i guess there are it's ups and downs of changing jobs, i'll miss the friends i made, the kids i adore but i'll have a friend when i move on to ICA, plus i'll be hoping that i make more new friends. goodluck to me!

Clique Raya Outing '09

i had fun yesterday. what made this year's raya outing sweeter was the fact that i got to visit houses with my siblings.

we started off pretty late but we still had fun. i think we managed to go to about 10 houses, last was Shaie's house 'cos we started out in the west then went up east. we were out pretty late and me and my siblings reached home about 1 in the morning? if Fadli didn't send us home in his car we'd never reach home. hehe

most of the pictures are up on my facebook account, so feel free to view it.

the only bummer about the whole outing was that i forgot to take pictures when they visited my house. gaahs!

kesian aku, penat2 decorate rumah, tk dpt feature dlm facebook atau blog. lol!

i'm really thanking God that it is a Friday!

i some sort of scream fest with one of my students. i'd rather not go into the details 'cos i believe if i had handled it better and if i were more patient than necessary i wouldn't be in the mess. it has got to do with the homework. i swear it's bloody difficult to make them do their homeworks.

well, today's drama moment happened because of just that, not wanting to do homework. if the SCHOOL teacher hadn't call me i wouldn't be taking soo much of time and patience i had in making sure he does his homework. whatever it was i still felt bad for having to scream at him in the end. i really didn't know what to do, i gave him alot of time. before lunch, after lunch and after tea break. bottom line is i still shouldn't have screamed at him, i should have handled it better.

aku stress bebual pasal ini masalah.

let's talk about tomorrow, i have a medical examination in the morning which is followed by the Clique Raya Outing. the outing will last throughout the day. i'm looking forward to both.

okay, don't ask me why i'm looking forward for the medical examination, i just am. i'm also hoping that there'll be no hiccups during the med exam and hoping that it won't take too long either.

okay bye!

the briefing

today is a rather slow day. a slow morning to start with. i reached the MND complex by 930 am and there was a lot of waiting. briefing and the signing of contracts took about 2 hrs plus.

initially i wanted to go straight to Raffles Medical Centre to get my medical examination over and done with. unfortunately it turns out that i have to go see my optician, again, to re-check the suitability of my current spectacles prescription. well that was stated in the medical exam instruction so i have to follow it. all of this i have to get done before the 26th of October. specifically a week before.

well anyways, the briefing just now was okay i guess. there were about 15 other people besides me. the only other thing that bothers me is that i was the only malay girl there. i'm pretty sure there were no other malay girls besides myself, well it was a small room so basically i could see everyone who was in the room.

besides the mundane things i've blogged about i'm guessing my day will be quite slow.

bye!

teriffic tuesday

i finally had an almost peaceful day at work. well working with kids doesn't give you that much peace and quiet 'cos, kids are just kids. 'nuff said.

my students today were a tiny bit more docile than yesterday. i didn't have to scream as much nor do i need to repeat myself that much. as for my afternoon session students, they were easier to handle today 'cos i took away their privilege of getting to visit the playground for some fun time. instead i helped my colleagues whenever they needed it. mostly looking after the N1's and helping their teacher to arrange and return the sleeping cots.

maybe things are starting look up. well i shouldn't be hoping so much for it since i know i'll get complacent and start slacking. i guess this is one of those professions that you cannot afford to slack at all, we are dealing with people's children.

other than the things mentioned above, i really have nothing else to blog about. maybe tomorrow there'll be something to blog about when i return from the ICA related thingy. that's if i'm not lazy to update.

bye people!

updates

it's been awhile aye.

i have been busy with work, and socializing with people and strangers. in other words i've been busy celebrating Hari Raya, even though my mood for it was gone weeks ago thanks to petty adults i happen to call my relatives. pfft!

well enough about that, they won't change anyways.

the latest news is that i'll be changing jobs by the end of this month. ICA sent a letter saying that i've got the post as an Home Affairs Specialist. here i was thinking that i screwed up yet another important interview. so i was ecstatically happy when i got the letter.

a lot of people, close friends and family especially, supported and helped me in making my final decision. even Mr Moon was there for me if not physically, i still appreciate that he calls me sometimes. i have a complicated r/ship that way.

whatever is in store for me in the future with ICA i'll be looking forward to it but for now i'm going to try and do my best as a student care teacher. i'll be looking forward to the final days as a student care teacher though the students can kill me with their incessant talking and the giving of inane reasons to get their way. i hope i don't keel over before i get to join ICA. *insertsarcasticfacehere*

i know i'm going to miss my colleagues, they turned out to be fun and friendly. i guess i'm not that good at socializing with strangers anymore, maybe because of reasons in the past. i should try to improve my socializing skills again aye, lest i be called a stuck up snob. hehs

Raya Open house - Sept 26

there are only a few pictures here, the rest are on facebook, my sister's account. i think i'm slowly losing interest in facebook. all i do is just scroll down and scroll back up then i'll log out. i'd be doing that repeatedly over a period of time before i go to sleep.

well anyways here are the pictures. they are unedited 'cos i'm lazy to go and edit them.

dear cousin Mischa and me

she actually adores Boboi but will run away if Boboi comes any closer than that. i think she got a PPO from Boboi. haha.

last but not least. my nephew, Mr Haziq Naufal. if you see him in real life, you'd want to bring him home and eat him up, figuratively speaking of course, because he is the most chubbiest toddler i have ever seen in my life. *makesbabycooingsounds*

i don't know what to do.

i'm already at my wit's end with those students of mine. shouting and screaming doesn't work. being fair doesn't work. being composed but firm lagi tak work. so how like that? being friends with them? not a chance 'cos they already treat me like an imbecile.

i was close to tears just now. seriously. i have a lot on my plate with their final year exams coming and parents complaining that their children ain't doing their work. what is a girl to do. i believe i'm the most helpless and pathetic teacher and this isn't even a full class of 40. just 4 students, 4 children that i can't handle.

i used to say that i preferred the afternoon session but i take that back now that i've experienced for myself the agony of having to handle them. i find that i can reason with the morning session students rather than the afternoon session. though the morning session students are younger than the afternoon session ones.

if i did not need this job i would have already declined it but seeing as my family's financial situation is not that good i have to take the job. not only that the workplace is only 5 - 10 mins away from my house, i save a lot because i do not have to worry about transportation nor lunch money. that is unless of course i want to buy lunch instead of going home but that won't cause my pockets to burst.

whatever it is, i have to find a new method and hold on. if not for my family's sake then my own.

GOD give me strength.

Monday blues

you guys know how the Monday blues affect us. we seem tired and lack energy 'cos of the whirlwind of activities done over the weekends. i suffered that same dilemma. i had little energy as it is and those kids of mine almost sapped all of it. especially the morning session.

thank goodness that the afternoon session will be down to 4 students in a few days and will be down to 3 students come end October. just found out this afternoon that another of my student will be withdrawing herself from student care too. which means i'll be left with 2 students by year end. isn't that just wonderful? most of my colleagues think so and i agree wholeheartedly with them.

other than that, the day wasn't that bad. my supervisor handed me a entry pass. it makes going in and out of the centre that much easier since i'm the only one who frequently goes in and out. not that i am free to come and go as i please but because i have to send and fetch the students to and from school. hopefully by year end, i'll only have to worry about the morning session. plus, i hope that no new students enrol under student care because i heard my supervisor saying she might close down the afternoon session of student care. that means i can spend more time helping my colleagues with the toddlers.

that's about it i guess.

anyways, i just sourced a school where i can take my Fundamental Early Childhood course. it's under Learning Capital and the earliest date i can start is around the 3rd week of October. it's a 4 month long course and it's approved by the government.

yeay me!

the eve, the 1st and the 2nd

the above two collages are of the dining set and kuih set that mother bought especially for Hari Raya. every single item has flower prints on them. i normally like flower printed stuff just because i like flowers, especially purple hued flowers. luckily the flower themed deco wasn't overdone.

on the first day of Raya, i went to visit my maternal grandmother, she happens to be celebrating Raya this year over at Yishun with one of aunts family. she's usually in Choa Chu Kang during Raya. i got to meet Mr Amirul, one of my many nephews. well i won't officially become an auntie until my sister gets married and has a son.

i'm wearing the headscarf because it's the first day of Raya and i made mother a promise, long ago, that every first day of Raya i will be wearing the headscarf.

basically the first day of Raya this year was a bit mellow, i don't know due to what reasons but i could feel the lack of merriness during the festive month. maybe because i was asleep at my aunt's house or that i'm getting older.

these are the outfits worn on the first and second day respectively. i think mother looks fetching in that shade of pink, don't you think so? it's a peachy kind of pink hue. maybe next year i will want to buy that shade of pink for Raya outing with the Clique. this year punye Raya belom lepas dah planning untuk Raya tahun depan, entah dapat jumpe ke tak. haha.

there it is, a slight glimpse of my shoes. the outfit for the 2nd day was a pantsuit. i'm not sure whether i would want to continue with this design next year 'cos sister said it made us look like Vietnamese girls. hot looking ones i suppose. haha.

well that's all. i'll update about yesterday's open house event soon-ish.

i want to curl up beside my favourite stuffed toy and go to sleep.

they come, they go

i've been at home since about 3 in the afternoon. decided to walk around CWP for abit before heading home, i remembered to buy lunch too. faulty memory and all.

work just now was almost a dreadful bore but Mr Brayden Koh was around to make everyone laugh with his antics. besides him only 2 other children came. none of my students were present and so i had a very peaceful Saturday morning. i was kinda puzzled over the lack of attendance but my colleagues assured me that on a usual Saturday there would be about 10 children. i guess it must be a lucky Saturday for me albeit a boring one.

after that my colleagues and me waited until 1.55pm before signing out and leaving the centre just in case our supervisor decided to pop in and check on us. i walked to CWP with Audris today, talked about stuff and i'm thankful to her for giving me advice on how to handle the students under student care. bottom line is i have to be more firm with them.

and now i'm waiting for visitors to come around mother said that we will be expecting quite a number and most of them will be cousins and my aunts and uncles. truth be told i won't cherish the prospect of serving them, well some of them anyways. the good news is that Uncle Yat and Aunty Sal are coming to visit for Hari Raya too. i cannot wait to see cousin Mischa. hell i'm always looking forward to meeting dear cousin Mischa.

i know i haven't posted anything up about he goings on of the eve and the first two days of raya. i'll prolly do it by next week when i have more time. still getting used to my working hours and all that.

au revoir readers!

TGIF!

the weekends are finally here though i still have to go to work tomorrow. I'll be starting at 7am. wonder how i will manage to wake up on time seeing that it's a Saturday.

well anyways, work just now was tiring, especially in the morning. the afternoon session kids were more controllable since the two 'leaders' weren't present. i think i'm finally getting a hang of this disciplining and being firm with them thing.

oh, and tomorrow i have to remember to ask them to write their own classroom rules. i wonder how that'll work out. hopefully having them write their own rules will give them a sense of responsibility. hopefully.

by the way, have i said how adorable the toddler are? 'cos they really are super adorable. i would love to bring home my faves one day. and that for certain is never gonna happen.

hello :)

Hari Raya is finally here and it's always one of the more fun times in the year. Though i hope next year i'll be able to welcome the month of Ramadhan again.

anws, there has been a lack of updates through the weekend. reason being, i was too busy doing the last minute cleaning of the house. i didn't even manage to go to S.I.N 2009 because of it. what a bummer, well there's always next year.

i'll be off then , i'm going to Aunt Sal's house. can't wait to see all my cousins.

bye!

super happy weekend

" when life gives you lemons, try to make orange juice. just for the fun of it"

the quote, sungguh tak masuk akal but who cares. i'm in one of my suddenly senile mood swings.

work today was better but my patience was totally tested during the afternoon. i'll not go into the details 'cos it's gonna irk me even more and i won't be able to sleep.

anyways, during lunch break where i finally got some peace and quiet, i had a nice convo with one of my colleagues. it's nice having someone to talk to, someone who understands the stress involved with working with children.

i've decided to take mandarin classes and take one up another skill related to my jobscope, once i've financially plan how i use my money that is. that won't take too long, i hope.

i also realised my paragraphs are incomplete. i think i'm too tired to blog properly. so you guys pandai-pandai fill-in-the-blanks okay?

au revoir!

still trying.

Dramatic afternoon lah sey. harhar!

i don't want to go into the details 'cos all these dramas are beginning to annoy and tire me. it's only the 4th day for goodness sake. i have to deal with SQ and her nemeses in the morning. i have to deal with Mr Crybaby and his nemeses in the afternoon. God save me from further drama.

well anyways,
i had to break up a fight during their playtime. it was in public sey. i'm sure people were staring from their windows wondering what the racket was. i had to shout in public. damn embarrassing.

note to self: question cousin on how to control pre-teens since she has a degree in psychology.

by next week i will get something done to handle them disciplinary problems in class, namely the lack of listening to MY instructions. i should work on my presence in class too, i think. i suffer from being too much of a go-with-the-flow kinda person and i'm damn sure the students think i'm a pushover. hopefully all of this problems will be resolved by Friday next week. goodluck myra!

okay now for the tag replies. ",

NRZ: oittt, GCBFN&F ape kebende? 0_0
myra: it's the initials of my 6 devilcats at homelah. you don't rmbr their names huh?

NRZ: and paling tak le angs, crybaby. tu part kan, mcm nk amek scotchtape tampal kat mulut drg. =.= naseb baek bulan puase ye...bnyk bersabar. hehehe
myra: dok, aku dh terlebih bersabar. haha. well i'm not called superpatient for nothing.

NRZ: now you knw how i feel with the kids? lol! and yeaa, I HATE TEACHERS PET WANNABE. sumpah sak irritating! aku pong mcm nk SEPAKTRAJANG tu budak. LOL!
myra: yeah babes, and aku boleh imagine je part yang aku tgh SEPAKTRAJANG tu budak. kalo buat betol2 kene sack siots. but truthfully i'm tempted to do it sometimes.

shaie: dramamama betol eh nie budak2 semue. mmg nk kene ikat uh pat kerusi and scotch tape mulot diorg.
myra: you don't know the half of it, there are a few i would like to do that to. haha

NANA: hahahahha. aku da tak sabar nak dengar cerita die, hehs.
myra: nana sentiase tk sabar. :p

Nadd: Hahahahaha! True true, Nana!!
this one i don't know what to reply. -_-'

Little Spoilt Brat: lol
Little Spoilt Brat: bahasa baku ke apa ?
Little Spoilt Brat: ikat itu semua monyet di kerusi sahaja , tidak akan ada masalah lagi .
myra: sister dear, aku rase kau dah gile. haha. tkde link akunye reply. -_-'

NANA: you have no one to say this to; "Nadd kau ckp, aku tkde suare ah." hehs. You have to do your job babe. BL boleh elak lagi sekarang no more babe. hehs.
myra: yea i know, the responsibilties are definitely more heavier. and the diff between BL is that i don't have sarcastic remarks from my students since they still haven't learn the beauty of sarcasm. haahs, mcm phm. -_-'

and i'm done, need to fill in the blanks of my contract.

cheers people!

third time's the charm

you know that saying. you have to try something at least 3 times for it to work. that phrase so doesn't work with them kids. it's the third day of work and i'm still trying to get a hand at controlling the kids

now, for a fact, i know that i need and have to take Chinese language classes so i can communicate with my students better. well at least i'll know they aren't insulting me to my face. and, i think i want to do it in secret. now i'm imagining myself walking into class and suddenly speaking in mandarin, the expression on my students faces would be priceless. father did say i'd earn more respect from the students. it's going to take a long time for me to take those language classes 'cos i have to start planning for my financial future. it was mother's idea that i do so. save up for a rainy day, she says but i know it's actually code for save up for your marriage in the future. *insertsarcasticfacehere* i swear she's caught one of my aunts' bug, the whenareyougonnagetmarriedbug. sheesh

well anyways, today's drama is...

The Sulking Queen. jengjengjeng jeng. harhar!

there is this one student, i call her SQ ( read: Sulking Queen ), well i don't actually call her that out loud. it's a name i gave her secretly. well, i've never bitched about people and wrote down their names, never have and never will start.

this girl is just the typical wannabe "Teacher's Pet". sumpah tak menjadi sebab aku find her irritating. she's always complaining and crying, yes she's one of the crybabies in class. well today was no different. the day started with them getting along well, then 'chaos' erupted. everyone started quarreling. well i had to shout at them to be quiet and then asked them to explain one by one, SQ kept on interrupting.

in the end the cause of the whole 'chaos' was the fact that SQ said something about one of my other students and couldn't take what the other student said back to her.

the other thing that i don't really favour is that she always keep asking me to help her with her homework or assessment. what am i? a walking answering machine?

so when i told her she should TRY, TRY to do it on her own first then come back to me when she's done so that i can go through with her the mistakes she made. it'd be a better learning experience for her anyways. you know what she did? she had the cheek to make the imsulkingface at me and then went back to her table and then didn't do anything.

i've already made it up in my mind to be fair to all my students. and i'm going to stick to that decision. nothing is going to sway me, well i hope nothing will ever make me take back that decision. hehs

okay bye! wait for tomorrow's drama though i'm fervently hoping that no drama will occur. contradicting much?

Teacher Myra! Teacher Myra!

the one phrase that i think can sum up the behaviour of my students is, constant irritable drama.

i swear it's like watching a drama in real time. what with the bullying, the telling of stories, the ideas and the sudden explanation of things i really don't need to know. if it was aired on the telly i would title it - Student Care AM-PM Drama. me and my colleague, Audris will be the main protagonists. there's constant breaking up of quarrels, trying to talk sense to the crybabies and just trying to keep the students under control. oh, i just found out today that i can actually use my voice to shout. harhar!

i think it's because the atmosphere is more serious than being a BL- and 'cos i'm getting paid to do my work- , this is because you have to follow a schedule and make sure that the students daily work are completed and after that they can have their own time which is usually trying to annoy the hell out of me. not to worry though, i am getting a hang of it. i managed to do everything on my own 'cos Audris was on leave.

i think i still need a pass since it's a chore to wait for them to open the door for me every time i go out with the kids. i had to borrow a colleague's pass just so i can send and fetch them students to and from, school.

by the way, today's drama was The Case of The Missing Things. it somehow got connected to bullying and a small piece of paper. confusing? you don't know the half of it. trying to talk sense to the morning crybaby was no walk in the park.

God give me strength and more patience.

okay bye! :)

I am officially a Student Care Teacher. *edited*

as you all know i started work today, officially. after months and months of waiting that is. ironic how the ITE cert that i graduated with has nothing to do with my current job scope. which in layman's term - babysitting. though i earn lots more than those babysitting stints i had in the past.

i seriously thought that if those kids were anything like my Saturday morning ones, i'd probably die. this is because 2 hours with those little rascals won't ever compare to a full day with my new students. like i said, i'd probably be in intensive care right about now. thank goodness, the students. correction, my new students are nothing like those little rascals. though they are still in primary school their thinking is different. well sure i had to raise my voice a couple of times but they treat me with respect nonetheless. they are still young children.

i guess i better stop it at here, a few lines into this post i realize that what i'm posting has nothing to with my first day at work.

i'll sum it up in a few words. it was okay, interesting and somewhat fun though towards the end of day i got kinda bored and sleepy.

okay bye! :)

updates

this is Nala in a box.

anyways, i do not know what to start with. i've had quite a busy weekend. and tomorrow i start work. i'm so bloody excited that i can't sleep. i should sleep since i'm starting work but i can't. don't know why i'm excited and i'm talking in bloody circles.

i guess i'll start with yesterday's outing with my cousins. i have pictures though they are not that good, i was hungry and lazy. i edited it halfheartedly too.

then there'll be today's events. got some pictures but they are badly edited too. i was tired and hungry. who wouldn't be? it is the fasting month. and usually around this time all Muslim families are rushing to decorate and furnish their houses with everything new. i'm proud to say that i did all by myself. the putting up of new curtains, the changing of the cushions, i did all by myself. i feel good. haha.

here are pictures, not necessarily in order.



i went out to break fast with these two lovely ladies you see above. we broke our fast around Arab Street area, near Masjid Sultan. i had beef steak, tried western for a change. the food wasn't that good but i was hungry. what do i care, right? now i sound like a glutton.

i saw somethings i shouldn't even see during Ramadhan. i mean who the hell performs kuda kepang dance during Ramadhan. have you no respect for the holy month? doesn't matter if no one was possessed or that kind of shit, you just should know better. to think that it was performed near Masjid Sultan? plain stupid. i can't appreciate it 'cos i know it is wrong.

enough about that, here are before and after pictures of the curtains and a stupid, EMPTY beehive i found hanging in my parents' room. don't bees know how to demolish their old houses? okay, now i'm just being stupid. their just insects. *makesintellegiblenosies*



and i'm done for today. bye people.

officially employed.

this must be one of the most happiest days of my life. i finally got hired. to think that i almost missed this interview because i couldn't find my ic. before all of you wonder what job i got, after months of waiting, go to this link - click here.

it'll be better than me trying to explain 'cos i'm too excited to explain. harharhar.

i start work next Monday at 9am. the place itself is within walking distance of my house so i save alot on transport. unless of course i'm tired and decide to take the bus home.

the plus side of getting this job is that they're sending me to take a professional course on infant care. to think that the babysitting and the contract work every Saturday morning would pay off some day. i guess experience pays, and i now know why i couldn't get hired before. regardless of what they say, employers prefer their future employees to be experienced in the field they want to be working in.

i'm so happy that i'm not pissed at boyfriend anymore. well, maybe just a little.

just around the corner.

i'm feeling a lot happier but knowing my current sitch, i shouldn't be feeling that happy. well what to do, i'm weird that way. harhar.

anyways, Hari Raya is around the corner and i'm still without shoes. mother gave me a scare just now when she said that i'll not be able to get new shoes this year. my heart skipped a beat at that remark. mother sure knows how to stress me out. imagine me on the first day of Raya wearing slippers instead of heels. i swear i'll not want to go anywhere for the rest of the festivities.

sister has decided to buy sandals for this year's Raya, i'm still thinking about it, buying sandals instead of heels that is. it'd be weird since i've not been without heels to wear during Raya since i turned 15. maybe i should try out something new. see how that works out when i go shoe shopping next Friday.

the other event that's around the corner is Super Import Nights' 2009. i promised brother i would bring him to the exhibition again this year. he had fun at last year's exhibition. he has a fascination with cars and whatnot. while sister and me have fascinations over hot bikes. hopefully there'll be a few bikes at this year's exhibition like last year's. i'm still in love with the pink bike i saw last year.

so, financial wise, i'll have to save this month's salary for the shoe shopping session with mother and sister and for the S.I.N 2009 event.

aku tak sabar lah.

i got distracted

i switched on my laptop with the intention of updating my blog however, i got distracted by Facebook, Youtube, Plurk and blog hopping. now my laptop battery is going to go dead soon and I'm overcome by laziness to go and take the charger in the next room. myra pemalas.

well, maybe later or tomorrow, I've a lot to do now. hehs.

i'm a fan, deal with it.

Paramore again.

silly random moments

i've just returned from an interview at ICA HQ for the position as an HAS-ICA Specialist. you'll usually see these uniformed officers manning immigration counters. they're the ones who'll facilitate the movement of visitors in and out of Singapore from the various immigration checkpoints across the country. well, they do have other responsibilities as immigration officers but i'll leave it at that.

i was actually psyched for the interview. i read through their website, prepared answers for the normal questions they would ask and prepared some questions that i would like to ask them in return. i reviewed the questions and answers over and over in my head until it was my turn for the interview.

i totally didn't expect more than 3 officers to be interviewing me so naturally i was a bit shocked to see 4 people waiting for me, instantly my knees went weak and all the hard work i put into memorising all the words i wanted to say just came crashing out of my head. like, just 'whoosh!'. completely gone in an instant. so did my confidence. boy, was i nervous. thankfully the interview went pretty well. the interviewers were pretty amicable, cracking a joke a couple times. the only concern they had was of me being pretty small and soft-spoken.

anyways i seriously hope that i get a callback, at least i can prove to them that i'm capable of handling the responsibilities of being an immigration officer.

on a lighter note,
this, incident or maybe this thing happened a few days ago while i was talking to sister. we were talking about a lot of stuff when i suddenly commented that i wanted to go to the Reggae festival, which is happening soon, i think. not sure of the date as of yet. sister also commented that she wanted to go too but the date of the festival will be clashing with her 'O's. after that, she screamed. the sort that made you itch to slap her face and it was pretty high-pitched too. however, instead of slapping her in the face, like she deserves, i laughed. laughed so hard that i couldn't breathe properly. well, you may not find it funny just by reading this post but the total randomness of her reaction made me laugh.

well, i'm done for the day.

so yesterday i went to break my fast with the Clique. i had fun, that's all i can say.
i'll admit i'm still a little bit fatigued even though i woke up late today. i wasn't even half awake for my morning meal. just had a cup of tea and went back to sleep. i was that tired.

anyways,
i just returned from CWP, printed all the necessary documents and bought some document files. i didn't realise i was in sucha rush 'cos i was done with everything in half an hour and there was a considerably long line at the printing place. it's scary sometimes when i'm on my single-minded focus mode. the things i can get done. *shivers*

Aki said that i should skip the marketing interview tomorrow. i'm not that sure yet. my confidence in not screwing up the ICA interview is quite high since father has been very vocal about his optimism in me getting the job. fingers crossed eh, since anything can happen.

maybe my parents have been praying so that i'm successful in getting a job, sooner or later.
let their prayers be answered i guess, i will get the job!

sheesh, now i'm sounding just a tad bit cocky.

the love letter

today was considered the last day of lessons before the two weeks worth of holidays for these little rascals. i'm going to miss them.



the second thing is that i cannot wait to meet the clique and my girls for dinner later. it's been soo long. i'm going to hug them till their spines break. violent, i know but that's we show love and affection. we are having dinner at MacRex. i've never been to that makanplace but i'm looking forward to the food. the food and the company, it will surely be one fun dining experience.

here comes the love letter part.

Dear *insertnamehere*

i don't understand why you can't be more thoughtful and tactful. you demand fairness but you aren't fair to others. you demand freedom but you take advantage of it. you demand respect but you don't show it. you always take but never give.

you say you are capable of taking care of yourself, that you are mature and responsible. but all i see is disappointment and worry lines on their faces. you have to remember that they are getting older every year. they shouldn't have to worry constantly about you anymore because you are getting older yourself. let their worrying rest on the youngest in the house. that's where it should have been the moment you turned 17.

i'm not saying that i'm such a perfect daughter to them but i try. maybe you should try too. then maybe you will get the freedom, the fairness and the respect and trust you deserve. even if they give you a little, just take it.

there are reasons why they don't allow us latenights, they know better. trustme, having your own way will never work unless you learn to take a little and give a little.

all i ask is that you try, yes you. no names need be mentioned here.

lastly, i'm feeling disappointed.

boy, why'd your love has to be so wicked.

movies-schmovies

i want to watch G-Force because i fine talking animals with attitude very cute.
and i want to watch I Love You, Beth Cooper! because i'm a Hayden Panettiere fan. plus i think the movie is sweet. the nerd proclaiming his love for the most popular girl in school.

what can i say, i tend to fall for cute and sweet movies.

photo update, finally.

i finally figured out how sister puts the photos up on her blog, not the camera photos but photos from her handphone and she didn't think it be nice to let me know. could have used the memory card adapter all along. i'm so dumb sometimes.

well anyways, the first picture is from my trip to the National Orchid Gardens few weeks back. tried using the macro function on the camera phone and i must say that it turned out pretty nice. well, pretty nice for someone who hasn't tried photography before.


girls, you may remember this picture from a previous post. Nala seemingly trying to teach me maths, lab maths and logarithm at that. i call her 'Princess' because she acts a bit spoiled sometimes. i guess she knows she's a pretty cat. it was the same for Baby, i still miss her though, Baby i mean. i think it's been a year or maybe less. Nala and Baby could have been very close if Baby were still around 'cos truthfully they are both very beautiful looking cats and boy, do they know it.


if Nala was trying to teach me maths then Fluffy is trying to help sister with her art. the cats surely know how to put a smile on my face.


the cat below is some random cat i took a shot of. I named it Mittens 'cos it looks like the cat, Mittens from the movie Bolt.


there are some similarities, don't you think?

sleepy, tired and annoyed.

that is how i'm feeling right now. i'm so ready to just fall on the mattress flat like that. it sucks to have been woken up by a rude man from the Human Resources department of some company. i'll probably get into major trouble if i typed out the name. i'm already in trouble so no sense in making more trouble for myself.

it sucks even more to not be able to download the form properly from my email. i swear i hate using pdf type applications. so bloody difficult to type it on the spot and i have no cash on me to go and print it out.

i guess i can screw over the the interview 'cos i won't be able to complete the form in time.

i'm blaming my run of bad luck this time 'cos everything seems to go wrong.

baahs. i give up.

unlucky

i'm like very close to exploding. i thought i had saved my resume the last time i created it but sadly the desktop decided to be mean to me and not save it. so, i have to do it again. i could just open the attachment saved in my email but that refuses to open too. what bloody luck.

the only good thing that's happening now is that the modem is working again.

oh, and, seriously those stories are a hundred years old already lah. i didn't care then so what makes you think i'll care now?

like i said on Plurk, it's like you have a savings account of dusty old stories. get a life can, reflect on how you brought up your children before you create stories about me. fyFi, they're no better then me so just piss off.

another update

the previous post was absurdly incorrect. the clique gathering has been postponed to this Saturday. the venue is some makanplace in Dhoby Ghaut. i can bring along Moon unless he has already made other plans beforehand. hopefully he hasn't lah. have to confirm by tonight.

i think it's been ages since the Clique had a gathering, the last was in March, annual Clique picnic. so it has been a few months.

anyways, i have an interview on Thursday and another one on Monday. the interview on Monday will be the marketing one i missed since i had the misfortune to fall sick. *insertweirdsoundshere*

i guess i have to try and google info on marketing, again.

short update

there'll be a clique gathering tomorrow, so we can break our fast together. it's still in it's planning stages. but hopefully i and the rest of the girls can make it. the location maybe Geylang. though i wonder how we're going to get seats 'cos it's packed this time of year. only during Ramadhan will it be buzzing with activities. all the buying and selling. other months, it'll still be busy but not as frenetic as during the Ramadhan month.

well here's hoping for the plan to come to fruition and that there are available seats for dinner.

Ignorance - live

It's Paramore, 'nuff said.

karma

i missed out on the interview today because i had to fall sick. just as i decided that i will go for the interview, my girls advised me to just try my luck. it's such a bummer, really. well, what can i do really, i have been told to stay at home for a few days since the doctor can't really give me MC since i'm not working.

the good news is that there'll be another interview i can go to. an interview for a childcare position under PAP'S People's Community Fund. easily said that i'll be working with the little kids in the blue kindergarten uniform, if and when i ace the interview. i really hope that i get the job since i have an advantage. but then again, there's no sense in being too over confident.

if i get it then i'll be happy. if not i just have to keep on trying. every one thinks so, boyfriend especially.

p/s: i think i got sick because i kept on saying swine to anyone who got sick, H1N1 season and all. karma just bit me on the ass. -__-'

unexpected

i accompanied sister to CWP to print her art summary, then we went to Cotton On where she just had to try on a few pieces. then went to the bazaar. saw an ex-classmate there while purchasing something to eat. i had mixed feelings about the moment just now.

we exchanged common pleasantries like how we were doing, what's happening in life. then she had to ask one question that made me a bit wary. the whole thing is complicated to explain 'cos i've complicated things by myself. well, if that person didn't push buttons then it wouldn't turn out this way but i really should correct the complication before ex-schoolmates start labelling me. i know i've had enough of that.

and, she didn't think that sister and me were related because we didn't look related. sister took offence at that.

well whatever, maybe there's a reason i bumped into the ex-classmate. since almost all of my ex=schoolmates live in the north and i haven't seen nor heard from them for two years, there must be a real reason behind it lah.

reunion plans? oh please, God forbid.

boring entry

i'm having such an uneventful day, well besides the fact that Fluffy is trying to bring the house down with her incessant moaning - she's in heat, or as my father would say, dah miang - nothing is happening. i do have to fold my clothes but that can be done later.

my Moon is having a hellish day, hopefully he'll not be so pissed by the time he gets home. i did try to calm him down just now, hope it works. my empathy skills are sadly lacking just a tiny bit.

when mother gets home, the dinner preparations will start.
and later at night i will be helping sister with her art, tomorrow is her submission day if i'm not mistaken.

i'm so bored and restless lah.

i remember...

i remember the 'friends' i made outside of school
i remember the people i couldn't trust in school
i remember skipping school all the time
i remember how my closest 'friends' talk when they thought i wasn't around.
and, i remember that none of them in school knew what i was like outside of school.

i remember i was in a fight with my 'best friend' just cause of words being passed around
i remember how i got drunk that very night but amazingly it didn't show the next morning,
i remember being so blatant about school work that i preferred to come late so as to pretend that i didn't know anything but i always managed to scrape through my exams.

i remember the first BOY i dated, how sad that my first relationship had to be so tumultuous.
and the assholes who came after him were more abusive than the last.
i remember the other boy who become dependent on me for material stuff.
i remember the one who lied alot.
i remember the one who made me so jaded that being in love was never again possible.

i remember being so angry with everything MY life had to offer that i took it out on my parents
i remember all the stupid fights i had just because everyone and anyone pissed me off
i remember sneaking out of the house just to piss my parents off.
i remember that i couldn't care less if i disappointed anyone, especially my parents.

i remember being the most selfish person alive
and i remember how i would be such a different person in school not knowing that it would affect me so much later.

i remember saying to myself that i will never, ever regret anything in life.
because regret will get me nowhere and so i swear i will never, ever regret this list of crimes.
and i MUST remember that i should face the consequences bravely and not hide behind my depression.

pray with me and pray for me,
'cos i need to see a glimmer of hope some time in the near future.

2nd day of Ramadhan

it's a pretty normal day, i'm still sending out resumes. well, decided to take a break for fear of getting cross eyed. in the midst of sending out resumes just now, mother reminded me to start praying again. she says it will help me. maybe i should try. it will be difficult 'cos it's been along time that i actually wanted to pray so as to help myself and i'm not proud of that fact.

anyways,
i'm missing alot of people lah. girls we should break our fast outside one day but before that we can go shopping for shoes, how 'bout that?
i miss my Moon, must remember to ask him out so we can go out for dinner together, one day.

i'd best get back to sending my resumes, after that i'll be busy helping mother with dinner preparations.

so as of now, i have to multitask, still haven't done my laundry.

1st Day of Ramadhan

it's a bummer that i cannot welcome the start of the fasting month, boyfriend thinks it's funny. *sighs*

anywho,
i went for the Career Fair alone, sister joined me later but at another venue. she wanted to go because i told her there was a Club 21 booth, she may be going tomorrow. i was a little lost and confused just now at the fair 'cos there was so many booths and i was overwhelmed. however, following my parent's advice, i went to visit booths under the government sector like Health care and all the Ministries. easily said that mother wants me to become a Civil Servant. there's job security and all when working under the government. that's what she says anyways.

i've got a lot of resumes to send online, more new websites to go and check out. you know i thought there will be an actual interviewing session based on my understanding of the mailer that North West CDC sent me but i misunderstood it a whole lot. it was just like the last time i went to a career fair early this year. just a whole lot of booths and a lot of flyers, brochures, goodies and questions to obtain. it's more like learning what the employers have to offer.

i was wearing heels 'cos i seriously thought that there'll be an interview so i was dressed to impress. but i ended up being all grumpy 'cos my feet felt like they were walking on hot coals and there wasn't any available seats. they should put seats on the sides of the convention centre so at least there'll be places to rest for those who've exhausted themselves walking around and around. people like me. hehs.

on a more personal note, i was close to tears just now at the fair 'cos i really didn't know what type of jobs i want, and walking around the fair made it even worse for me, pms i guess. i shouldn't go anywhere alone, especially going to something as serious as a Career Fair. i was so ready to run from the place but since i was wearing heels, i hobbled. haha

and since i was calling mother every ten minutes to have her calm me down and talk sense to me i made it till 1230 pm. pathetic moments.

okay , people do wish me luck, i'm kinda getting more desperate to get a job now that there are actually a lot of jobs available that i do not know of.

adieu

earliest start to my day in 4 months

woke up at 5 am with the intention to complete my resume but i ended up toying with facebook applications instead. i had about 15% more left to do and i can print the thing in time for tomorrow's career fair.

i managed to get a bit done before leaving for JB, now i'm back and i am still confused about the 'N' and 'O' level credits. does a pass constitute as a credit or only a distinction pass will be considered a credit. if the latter is correct than my resume will be just plain sad.

well anyways, i've collected all my Hari Raya finery, hehs, next i'm going to stress myself about what colour and pattern heels i should purchase. there are some disadvantages to being female i guess, this being the fact that we sometimes cannot make up our minds when shopping for special occasions. Hari Raya being one of them. i'll probably end up using the whole month just to think and prolly buy shoes and accessories for myself.

better get back to my resume.

pressure's on

i have a busy, long day ahead of me tomorrow.

first i have to go to POSB in the morning to go replace my POSB bank book, then i'll be heading to JB with mother to collect and buy some things. after that will be headed to one of the many supermarkets we have here to do some grocery shopping.

gawd imma be tired, i still have to complete and print my resume, find a file to file that resume along with my photocopied certs. this is so that i can attend the career fair at Suntec City. 'cos according to the letter which was sent to me from the Northwest CDC,

" Due to your registration with Career Centre @ North West , you are invited to attend a privileged session to meet the employers' first hand. "

i have to be there, dressed in my best, at 10am. so i'm inexplicably stressed right now 'cos i don't know what to wear and i'm not yet done with the resume. thank goodness i have photocopies of my certs.

if CDC were to send the letter earlier then, i would have more time to prepare but i should have all this prepared beforehand since i'm in need of a job. i cannot screw this up like i did the other few interviews

i pray for luck and i pray for hope.

it's that time of the year

Ramadhan is just around the corner and i can't wait for it to be over. so bad of me to say that huh. actually i'm equally excited for Ramadhan and Syawal to come. though it's a bummer that i won't be able to fast completely during the fasting month, female problems and all. not to mention that i still have alot of days that i missed fasting because of female problems and other reasons that i shall not mention here.

i've mentioned that mother has already done her bit for the upcoming Hari Raya celebrations, she is almost done with the household deco like upholstering the furniture with better fabric, the curtains are yet to be hung but i'll be the one doing that since idontknowwhen. all that's left is prolly the purchasing of Hari Raya goodies.

this friday i'll be going over to JB to collect the last piece of clothing from the seamstress and will be dropping by City Square@JB 'cos mother wants to pick up something. maybe i can drop by body shop or Watson's to buy new makeup. things are definitely more cheaper there though the trip back to the immigrations' centre could kill me. i wonder why there are so many bloody stairs and so bloody long walkways just to leave Malaysia.

on a side note, there'll be a career fair this weekend at Suntec City and i plan to go. i've already asked Nuruz if she could accompany me, all that's left is to confirm the details. i'll prolly be tired on the first day of Ramadhan since i still have to see them kids on the Saturday morning.

i hope i have the strength.

mother has been asking me to join her for the evening prayers during Ramadhan, i think i'll indulge her this year by going for the prayers. haven't done so in the last two years, well not regularly at least.

no title

i've always wanted to have a separate private blog, but every single time i make one i end up deleting it in just a few hours. i've done that with live journal, word press, dear diary and just a few hours ago , tumblr. they're all blogging sites but i just can't seem to stick to one. i even tried making a private blog under blogger but i deleted that one too and within a few hours.

maybe it's not time to have a private online sanctuary yet. but i do need a medium to let loose all my inner most thoughts. keeping a written diary is not a very good idea. i might just misplace it, even worse, someone might find it and read all the things not meant for them to read. especially if my parents find it. i'll be in a hell of a whole lot of trouble.

maybe i'm the fickle one. knowing that the blog will be private yet deleting the whole blog after just a few posts. i'm still not ready to talk about the past. ashamed to face it.

i just know my inner demons are probably snickering right about now for my inability to face them. be damned all the stupid decisions and choices i made.

make up my mind already lah, this is just sickening.

spare me, puh-lease!

just got back from brother's silat kenduri, the kenduri or prayers was to mark the start of the fasting month so there was only a prayer session then food was served. well that's not the reason i'm blogging.

the silat girls are s irritating. no wonder brother sometimes dislikes going for silat practice every now and then. jalan tak payah bukak kepak pe, and sungguh tk perlu nk stare2 aku eh. please if you think i'm afraid of you just because posess a belt or two, think again.

i also totally hate the way they carry themselves, strutting around the hall with sheer arrogance in every step. it is so unbecoming in a young girl, well that's my opinion. and, i would have thought that their tok gurus taught them a thing or two about respecting their elders. mintak kene pukul uh semue, seriousnye bbl.

okay, i'm done venting about insignificant people, don't know why i even bothered to blog. must be the toothache 'cos i'm still grumpy.

like angels, without the halo

the morning session with the kids wasn't that bad. they were quieter today. i think because i came in with a rather grumpy face. must have made them scared or something. it was almost a blissful Saturday morning for me, so unlike all the previous Saturday mornings ever since i came in to help my cousin with her students.

it was almost so quiet that it became hilarious to me. maybe i should come in every Saturday morning with a grumpy face, that's a surefire way to make the kids behave.

painlah!

i'm sitting here blogging with a toothache. makes me all grumpy because it hurts to chew and i talk funny. stupid bloody toothache

i'm getting angry over minor details. i'm angry at the cats, i'm angry at everyone in the house. most of all i'm angry at myself for being phenomenally patient with someone. i'm also a tiny bit angry at the person but i can't blame said person. i haven't heard a single word from the person in like ages. my fault too i guess for not trying harder to contact the person.

no use getting angry at all 'cos i cant exactly vent it physically. at this very moment i'd absolutely LOVE to be able to hurt something or someone.

someone please hand me a tranquilizer gun, i'd rather shoot myself to sleep with tranquilizer drugs. at least i'd have sound and painless sleep. i have no freaking idea how to handle the kids tomorrow morning. i swear i'll scream if they don't listen to me.

well wish me luck, i'll surely need it.

The National Orchid Garden

On the 10th of August, which was 3 days ago, i followed my Uncle's family to the Botanical Gardens for a picnic. My Nyai and aunt along with a few of my cousins tagged along. it was some sort of post National Day picnic.

anyways,
i went trigger happy with the camera when we proceeded to the National Orchid Garden which was situated in The Botanical Gardens itself. i may have caught mother's affliction, her sudden craziness over flower motifs. the orchids were just damn beautiful. i didn't pay attention to the orchids' different names and species 'cos i was trigger happy. hee

oh yeah,
that was my first time trying my hand at amateur photography. i hope the pictures turned out good. enjoy people.

Disclaimer: there are alot of pictures, not only of the orchids. i'm struck with laziness and decided not to upload them onto FB. :)