Longest post ever pt 2 ;)

i'll start of this post with a picture of one of my six cats, the humongous bully Boboi. ;)

everything he does will make the family laugh, btw he is the black ad white coloured cat, the one sleeping next to him is Lucky, our resident king of the household. hehs

we all adore Boboi 'cept for when he steals our food from the wok or whatever it is that has food in it. he gets more than enough food, i mean he weighs 7kg man. thats pretty heavy for a cat that is only a year and a half old. he always licks his food bowl clean anyways, so i don't see why he has to go and steal our food. sheesh!!

well, now back to my reality. this past few weeks since the pill tripping episode, i've finally made some conclusions and choices of my own.

firstly,

seeing that my parents are supportive and just expect me to graduate from ITE imma do just that. i guess they realise that im not up to any heavy responsibilities right now with my mental unstableness and all. i really am grateful but i should have done better seeing that science was my forte in secondary school. im lacking right now in that area cos i stuttered and stumbled through my GC prac test. i have to study harder for the next AC class test and the AC phase test on HPLC- another machine i have no fucking idea about- and i have to start revising all the BCT notes to get myself ready for the exam in september. first i have to obtain all the missing notes and fill in all the blanks that i have accumulated.

secondly,

i wanna be and will be a more healthier me. first reason is that i miss the svelte figure i had, and of cos i miss being able to fit in every single article of clothing i have. i had to throw some of them cos i just couldnt fit in them anymore. but there were some pieces i kept just to see if i can ever fit in them again. i was a 36-25-36 kinda girl but all the fat in my butt has fallen to my thighs and thats why my butt looks small. well bf likes them anyhow. and if i really am serious bout this change i can get that 36-25-36 figure back.

i will also be starting to eat a little bit healthier, bf will be happy hearing this cos i finnaaallllyyy listened to him and of cos exercise more to make the excess baggage go away. looking at the excess fat all over my body everyday in the mirror is starting to get on my nerves. oh how i just wish that i could tear them away from my body. by doing this i may have some of my lost confidence back.

one more thing, i thought this through and i have to say that i detest being called papan or lidi or whatever. i feel like im an inanimate object being called that. cos those things arent breathing and by calling me so it insinuates that im not a living being. im sorry if this is harsh but im conscious bout how i look like. i lack confidence thats all. and u should be grateful that u still have ur confidence about the way u look. even though u said im thin, im not. period.

p/s im not referring to anyone in particular, just letting it all out cos lately people have been calling me that, especially my relatives because my family has that full figured gene ( is there such a thing as that??), i dont need it from them and i dont like it. period.

thirdly, this will prolly be the hardest of them all.

learning to love myself before i love others, this is quoted from my Kak Yul. i have to try i guess, i wont know if i dont try right??

and she also said

" dont be nice to others just because you dont want to hurt their feelings, if someone says something mean to you, you have every right to reciprocate their words, if they feel hurt by what u said maybe u should remind them that they just insulted your being and u have every human right to do that to them as well, no matter if the person is a relative or a friend, if you just forgive them by not standing your ground and stating your fact they will step on your head, remember this okay sayang??"

i guess thats about it, mother is now practicing her essay writing, im thinking of disturbing her lah. or maybe i shud join in and write a essay of my own, i gave her the title " my life as a mother " ,to work on. i think i shall write my own essay and compare it to hers and let her see the diffs and let her mark it on her own by using mine as a guide. so far this method has worked and her english writing improved abit. as for her conversations, lets just say that i laugh first before answering her qns.

p/s sorry mother but u just sound funny when u speak in english, like nana & zura says

" bebual jangan gelojoh!"

sayonara readers.

Longest post ever ;)

hello people, been quite a while since i last updated and now im regretting it cos there are alot of things i have to post about. pffft!!

i think im gonna do it in sections, starting with the most earliest which is pictures of the NDP preview. next imma blog about my lil cousins birthdays. after that will be posting about my episode which involved pills and the hospital. and then onto the tags that Nadd and Ifah wanted me to do. finally i'll blog about how im going to try to make my life abit better.

Mayybbbbeeeeee, just maybeee.... i'll blog abit about my lovelife. and so i seek your co-operation by leaving me tags, since this will be the longest post ever.


NDP Preview

As stated on the post dated Sunday 13 July, i went to the ndp preview with Nana(puteri tenggelam timbul). there i watched the fireworks cos the show had too contrasting colors since im already half-blind. sheesh!!

and i saw Mr Moon in his uniform. aaaahhhh!

fcuking hot and sexy and delicious and any other words you would use to describe a man in uniform for those of you who fall into my category which is
" Drools whenever she sees a man in uniform "

ATTN: Does not apply for those in the army, especially the infantry unit. Sorry aye but i have bad nightmares involving them. hehsToooo bad i didnt think to video or atleast take a picture when they were marching past. haish.

okay here comes the picture parts. from here on end let the picturesss do the talking aye. ;D

notice the texture of the sky covered with the residue smoke from the fireworks, it looks kinda romantic to me.

Misha and Rian's Birthday.

Rian's bdae came bfore Misha's actuali but the story goes like this,

on the day of rian's bdae, she brought goodie bags to her class but the teacher sang birthday song for the wrong person sooo my aunt decided to bake her a cake, a nice one at that, to celebrate her bdae again.

as for misha, we didnt buy her prezzies on the actual day of her bdae, so my parents decided to come again the following week to give her the prezzies. and rian just so happened to be there. so we just indulged them lah.

thats what i think, kids should be indulged once in a while, not spoilt rotten to the core. like one of my other lil cousin. ooops, might have got a bit testy bout that. hehs

misha akila, myra and rian

look at the cake and droooool people. just droooooool as much as you want. hehs

the birthday cutie pies. :)

Tripping on pills

i know ya'll think that i tried to kill myself or something similar just based on the title alone but i am telling the whole truth when i say that i was just damn frustrated that i couldnt get to sleep and thus i took the anti depressants that my psychie gave me to get to sleep. i didnt take those pills at one go but took them bit by bit, but still i ended up in hospital, i thank Nana for convincing me to go to the hospital. i know i messed up but when u have an emotional breakdown like i did anything u do will seem right by you. i swear though, that it will be the only time ever that i overdose myself.

the weird part was that they didnt flush out the pills from my system nor was i put on the IV drips my godmother clarified that. she asked what my intention was when i overdosed myself and i said to her that my only intention was that i wanted so badly to sleep. and she said that was why my condition was not that critical nor was it that deadly serious.

in other words in my religion it all depends on what our intention in our heart is, if i had the intention to kill myself i would probably be in a very critical condition and would have died cos my ex-tuition teacher said that anti depressants were much stronger than panadols.

then again it was still stupid of me to even overdose myself just solely based on my desperation to get to sleep.

the worst part is that my Kak Yul and gfs has forbidden me to tell bf, it hurts me cos i feel so damn guilty for betraying his trust. that i what i have to live with until i feel that its time for him to know and i also have to live with the constant headaches that came with overdosing myself. and if he ever reads this part and gets freaking angry, idk wtf i will do. prolly run and hide?? i did bring this upon myself so whatever consequence coming my way i will have to face it.

p/s. Ifah, Irah, Jamie and Jane, if u girls happen to read this part of the post. i would be really, really grateful if you girls keep it to yourselves. cos i KNOW that the others will never understand why i did this even though its stated plainly, clearly and as bluntly as possible.

p/p/s. for the other readers, if you people want to spam my tagboard, well go ahead. i really dun mind cos its human nature to judge others by what they do and what they look like. but hopefully you take the time to read and understand, if you cant then i cant do anything. :)

Tags by Ifah and Nadd

Ifah's tag

(A) list down ten random facts about urself that others may or may not know of.

1. im secretly adorable. hehs
2. corner me and i swear i'll bite
3. i adore dark humor
4. im a realistic person
5. im secretly in love with johnny depp
6. i must have chocolates at least once a week
7. i always wish i was a witch
8. i can understand what my cats want when they meow to me
9. i adore the color violet
10. i want to rule the world!!!!

(B) list down ten things or people ur thinking of now.

1. My Mr Moon!!!!
2. the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer
3. chocolates
4. a baking set
5. Johnny Depp??
6. my gfs
7. my cats
8. my cuzzies
9. world peace ;)
10. more world peace ;);)

(C) tag 5 other people to do this random activity.

1. Nana
2. Nadd
3. Nuruz
4. Shan
5. Shaie

Nadd's tag

7 things that scare you

1. Allah
2. losing my parents
3. dying in a horrible manner
4. losing my cats
5. losing my memory
6. losing my sanity
7. aliens??? hehs

7 things you like the most

1. chocolates
2. books, but i've a limited supply. pffft!!!
3. my nyai's cooking
4. my mum's cooking
5. pasta
6. ice-cream
7. more chocolates. ;)

7 important things in my room

1. bed
2. clothes
3. makeup stuffs
4. fan
5. lappy
6. full length mirror
7. STITCH!!!!!!

7 random facts about me

1. i have dark humor
2. i can talk to my cats ;)
3. my english writing is uncharacteristically superb. { right nadd?? }
4. i suck at malay
5. i cant actuali draw
6. i like chocolates
7. more chocolates

7 things i plan to do before i die

1. go for Hajj
2. safari holiday in Africa
3. safari holiday in Australia
4. skydiving
5. basejumping
6. mountain skiing
7. swim in the deep blue ocean

7 things i can do

1. irritate my mom
2. irritate my sister
3. irritate nuruz. hehs
4. irritate my cats
5. eat chocolates
6. multi-task
7. eat more chocolates

7 things i cant do

1. i cannot bully bf
2. i cannot sleep
3. i find it hard to judge people
4. balance myself?? my center of gravity is sorely lacking
5. cant hold a grudge
6. live without chocolates
7. live without my phone

7 things you are attracted to in the opposite sex

1. charm
2. sense of humour
3. knowing when not to cross the line
4. treats me nicely
5. the way his body smells
6. his nose. mancung la oii
7. for just being himself :)

7 things i say often

1. shuddup lah to bf
2. diamlah to bf
3. okay fine to bf
4. ehhh to bf
5. kurang ajar eh to bf
6. gigit kang baru tau to bf
7. whatever to bf and everybody else ;)

7 people to do this survey

1. Jane
2. Jamie
3. Dee
4. Liyana
5. Ifah
6. *insertname*
7. *insertname*

my fingers have already cramped up .

and if i dont do a part two i'll prolly have difficulty writing tml.

so wait for the next installment tml.

chey , myra bbl mcm phm.

sayonara readers.

i will be summarising my july by the end of the month. u readers will just have to wait for the longest post ever. ;)

till then, tc yo!

updates for ystd and today.

ystd, went to Ndp Preview with one of my babygirls, nana. the show...cant understand the msg and the colours were too contrasting to actually see clearly what was going on. i'd say the main highlight of every NDP would be the fireworks display. jmy fave part was during the aerial acrobatics performed by the Black Knights, one of the flight squadrons of the S'pore Armed Forces. there was this one part that left me awed and maybe a teeny bit scared for the pilots. my heart literally skipped half a beat.

but the parade of contingents was the one i really looked forward too. especially them Guard-of-Honours. all because boyfriend was one of them. i didnt get to sse him when they were marching in but when they were marching past, i caught quite a brief glimpse of him.

*squeals excitedly*
he looked damn hot and sexy and delicious in that uniform.
*melts*

too bad couldnt get a picture of him, cos by the time he replied to my msg, he was already on the way back to his camp.

there are some pictures but i'll see if i wanna uplaod them or not.


today, my cousin celebrated her 6th birthdae. and she looked cute in the gown she was wearing.
i'll upload that picture soon. i'm damned shagged from entertaining her the whole day.

thats all, i guess. off mugging for BCT test.

sayonara

i overslept and skipped school again today, i'm starting to fall into that neverending cycle all over again. i feel so suffocated and tired all the time. wanting to go to sleep and waking up is becoming like some sort of mission. on top of that, life at home isn't at all fun anymore. i want to move out but i know i will never hear the end of it from mother. i'm always the one to be blamed if my siblings do something wrong, like when my sis has her late nights, they say i'm the one who taught her. is it so difficult for them to remember that i'm mentally unstable?? i wish they'd let me breathe once in awhile.

the only saving grace of coming home after school everyday is because of my cats. i always find solace and peace when i cuddle them or when i talk to them, especially Baby. She seems to know when i'm feeling low. maybe the only other reason that's keeping me from moving out is because i'll be missing my beacon of light at home, my Baby.

i have been mulling things over in my head and been trying to come to a decision, however i have a very strong feeling that i will never hear the end of it either from my parents and my girlfriends.

i can never think that my depression is going to lift anymore, not if i'm going through the same cycle every single, messed up day of my life.

just another day

today has been quite mundane.

came late for AC lecture, had lunch, then went for MLP lecture, it was a drag as usual. and shan and me talked about nonsensical stuff while azura and nana slept through MLP.

then we went home straight after MLP, nana, zura and me. shan was nowhere to be seen luh. hehs

the two girls persuaded me to take the train home but i had no mrt fare, so they paid for me, thanks girls. =)
it was uncomfortable sleeping in the train, that is why i prefer taking buses.
from bedok to lavender i stood talking to nana about stuffs. then the journey from lavender to J.E i slept all the way, zura insisted that i sleep so i did.

then when i reached home, i changed and promptly took a short nap, but when i woke up it was already 8+ at nite. i must have been really tired huh...

i washed my face, then had dinner and then watched t.v while waiting for Mr Moon to call. he did, even though it was for a short while, lepaskan rindu lah katekan.

i guess thats about it lah, i dont even know why i bother to post about what happened today when it was so obviously mundane. pffft!!

trying very hard to keep my sanity,
with this overwhelming noise,
around me.

First Day of New Term

okay, today was the first day of the new school term. as usual school is drastically boring, its only saving grace are my super wacky classmates, and my uber crazy babygirls. for the first time, i think, i actually woke up early and came to school on time ( yeay me!!), and for that,

nuruz said, " its a miracle that myra even made it to school today."
just the motivation i needed. o_0' ehhes

like i said lessons were pretty boring, lecture was a drag because i did not have the notes with me. during lab practical though, things lifted abit. the practical session was pretty short, took each of us around, what? 15 mins to do everything? 'cept for the gram staining part but nana, ( she volunteered to do it ), completed that in less than half an hour.

and for the first day of school we girls were naughty because we cabut-ed CSV and CARE session. we are soooo gonna get an earful from mdm ruhaida sometime soon. heeeees.

and then the joke of the day, or shud i say, joke of the week which came from shanaa.
she was so engrossed with taking on the phone that she didnt realise what she was saying and nuruz happened to spot her mistake. nuruz told me and then she told zura and nana. i think it went something like this,

nuruz: eh, korg2 pernah dengar psl simei point??
took a second to realise it and we burst out into laughter.
shanaa: simei point??
took her a few seconds to register it and she was the one who said it. pffft!
then it dawned on her and she chased nuruz around us. ehhes.

then we rode the bus to bedok and went our separate ways, zura and nana took the train home while shan, nuruz and me proceeded to bedok to chill for awhile.

we were going through clothing at some clothing store around bedok int when Mr Moon called,

Mr Moon: hello
me : hello
Mr Moon: U kat bedok int eh?
me: yeah...
Mr Moon: U pakai baju maroon ngan skirt kelabu eh ( he's abit colour blind i think or maybe he didnt see properly cos nuruz said my skirt is actually dark blue in colour).
me: yeaps...cmne U tau??
Mr Moon: i nampak U tadi kat bedok int, i was actuali standing beside U and U didnt realise...
me: eh, U dah tau i nie potek, lain kali tegur jelah...
Mr Moon: U ngan ur frens pe...( act shy onli. pffft!!!)
me: lain kali tegur jelah, ape je die...U katne??
Mr Moon: kat rumah..
me: yelah, dah sampai rumah baru nk kol org.

then blahblahblah. the convo went something like that, it was a few hours ago and i cant remember what we said but this is close enough. and3 i heard one of his younger sisters in the background, her voice, so kawaii laaaaa. makes me miss babysitting kids and babies even more....

im done for today, i hope nuruz blogs about todays happenings.


p/s i think i fell in love with the white dress i saw at bedok's this fashion outlet laaa...

i know i was s'posed to be posting up the pics we took at the picnic and the vids that were taken. but as usual i'm bloody lazy. i'll post it up by tml latest. lappy is being a bitch cos she's always been hanging on me this past few days and the pics just refuse to upload inside her.

even though the picnic was only two days ago, i miss my classmates and gfs badly already.

i miss my Mr Moon too. i'd miss him more if he would stop bullying me all the time. ( yeah right! who am i kidding, i miss him all the same. =) ).

sayonara.

*edited*i'm only posting this because i have read and re-read all your posts and came to my own conclusion that this is all a big misunderstanding. i've talked to shanaa and told her my wrongs in all this. i've sort things out with sarah too. so i think shanaa will be grateful if you girls hear her out. the only reason why i'm gutsy enough to post this is i admitted my wrongs and my assumptions about her posts and i hope you girls can do the same. *********************************** i've read the posts that has to do with shanaa and how we, her girlfrieneds think about her. and sarah, if you are reading this, i've put myself in your shoes and trust me when i say i know how you feel. Sarah i consider you as a friend too. but this has got to stop.

Girlfriends and Sarah please stop this ensuing argument. i know how u guys feel about shanaa, i truly do. but i hope when school reopens, we all can start anew. i dont want to sound as if that i'm blackmailing you girls but this conflict is causing me stress and with my condition it is not a very good thing. if you feel that you don't want to do this for yourself, at least do this for me?

i'm not asking for much, just forgive and forget.

and i truly do hope that when monday comes, we'll be tolerant of each others behaviour.

i couldnt sleep properly last night. just one of those days laa i guess. Shan is missing from the picnic, she has her reasons, but i just wished she could have made it. it wouldnt be the same w/o her.

like all my gfs say, life's nt complete w/o it's fair share of conflict. but if out of the blue you cant except our jokes anymore then things have definitely changed. I do hope this conflict can be resolved between us in a civilized manner and i hope you don't go telling others about our behaviour because others will never understand as it was meant as an inside joke.

soon, am off to enjoy the picnic as much as possible. =)

pictures and more pictures will be up if i have the energy too. must hide the cammy from nadd and nuruz, we all know all too well what will happen if they get hold of it.

sayonara

nothing much happened today, did the housechores mostly and only because i have nothing better else to do. thought of washing all the six kitties but i wasnt in the mood to get drenched in the process.

dad gave me a sarcastic comment when he came home from work while i was vacuuming the house, " wah, rajin nampak. betol ke nie anak aku. " pffft!! thanks alot dad, just the motivation i needed to clean the house. sheesh. my dad shows his love for me in a weird way sometimes.

anyways, i reserved three books from the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. the titles are Twilight (reading it again cause i didnt absorb the storyline enough, hee), New Moon and Eclipse. the final book in the series titled Breaking Dawn will be out in August, in the US that is, for S'pore i'm not that sure. for snippets of all the books from the series that are already out, proceed to Stephenie Meyer's Official Website

The Love Poem

check out these quotes with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line. Hope u enjoy :-)

***
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

***
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

***
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

***
Oh loving beauty, you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

***
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.

***
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

***
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

***
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

***
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".

***
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and
so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the
sugar bowl's empty and
so is your head

***
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

***

- Unknown