work woes

i absolutely hate it when someone confronts me with something and ends up snitching on me over something else. nobody likes a bitch at work and I've got one bitch at work. cargo precisely.

been half a year since I've been permanently deployed to cargo clearance and now some bloody fuck is trying to ruin it all. yesterday is by far the worst shift i had, if only my stupid senior officer would had just left me alone none of this would happen.

i admit i made a mistake by wrongly directing only 3 bloody cars to the wrong counter and he had to send the bitch to 'assist' me. i feel it was wholly unnecessary.

long story short, i now have to learn to cover my own ass but i know i have help from my other cargo teammates cos all of them do not like the bitch.

i have to make it a habit to pretend to do work even when there is no work to be done. something i have never done in my career thus far.

basically its difficult to work when someone has marked you and even more when a bitch is trying to kill his own teammate.

i say karma will get you one day and it will ruin you for trying to disturb my rice bowl, motherfuck.

decisions and movies and other stuff

i finally made a solid decision. he'll always have that special r/ship with her and so it is not ever going to be safe to go for him but at least the friendship is still intact cos i have not said anything concrete to him yet. this is why i do not try to even think of dating colleagues. its just a very unstable territory especially for me who values my privacy. just going to continue to maintain the low profile I have at work for the last 3 years. feelings are gone. when I'm that sure of a situation i chuck away feelings fast. 

i waited long enough to see things clearly and I'm glad of that fact. 

anws on a happier note, I've watched Taken 2 yesterday w/ Suz, Shahrul and Eliana. it was a dope ass movie, the fight scenes were just awesome! 

Premium Rush i watched a week ago w/ babyboo and Yus. that movie was awesome as well. nonstop action and the dialogue was spot on i must say. 

looking forward to more upcoming events this month.

TBC, babybro's belated birthday celebrations. 

14th will be Suz's wedding, I'm the bridesmaid :)

19th and 20th will be the slumber party i have w/ my babygirls, hope that happens

20th evening will be Spooktakular at Sentosa w/ babyboo and her friends

if all these events go off w/out a hitch i will be the happiest girl in October cos my October started off w/ extremely good news when i signed the contract stating that I'm on permanent scheme as of 1st October.

i have also started jogging and circuit training. my weight is now 52kg, heaviest I've been in awhile but i will give myself until my birthday which is next month to shed away most of the weight. 

this weight loss thing is more for me to live healthier not for the sake of wanting to be thin and vain. 

that's all for now. good day world!

Retro Night...sorta

yesterday night was the dinner and dance event for my workplace. the theme was retro. i did not dress up cause it was on such a short notice, to me, and buying clothes just for the night seemed a waste so i just decided to make my face look retro-ish. the winged eyeliner and bright lip. i just wore a black and white top that sister purchased for me. it looked tres chic to me and i was happy enough with the whole look.

still sick.

just got back from breakfast with the usuals at Macdees. had my usual breakfast deluxe meal just because i was that hungry and i didn't eat the night before.

i still can't believe that I'm still down with fever. my mentee said that it might be viral fever because she had it a couple of weeks before and it took ages for her to recover and what with the weather - almost raining everyday, doesn't help me recover that much.

me being stubborn also doesn't help at all. apparently when i'm sick my appetite grows even bigger and i eat food stuffs that normal behaving sick people should not be eating.

luckily, traffic at work wasn't a nightmare and my mentee was nice enough to do the work for the whole shift. i was definitely out of commission by the time we went to our second counter. zombie mode on full.

she even forced me to take a nap. which i eventually did just because i couldn't take the head spinning anymore.

my nose is still stuck, my throat still sore and i hate it when i cough. my voice will decide to do a disappearing act in between coughs.

it's time i drink some honeyed chrysanthemum tea, my own homemade remedy to battle the flu or the viral fever i have going on.

i hope i don't infect anyone else and i hope i recover soon. the new year is coming and i do not want to be in bed counting down 2012 with a viral fever going on in my body.

better go get my rest as well. :)

changes.... i hope.

afternoon world!

this week for me has been rather miserable. the reasons are the usual ones which are work and my r/ship has gotten me feeling that way. however, rather important decisions has been made. at least i think so.

i just need to keep my mind off of him and with me starting to coach my cousin with her english i definitely think its a start as good as any. as of right now my mind is busy thinking of lesson plans. im not a teacher by any means cos i cant teach people. i just work with what i ahve and since my cousin's english is above average i find it quite easy to coach her. she is just a little bit rough with her vocab and grammar other that that everything else is perfect. i hope in a few months she can learn to correct her own english. my methods arent conventional by any means but i find it effective cos thats how i improved my english.

her first lesson went pretty well cos she has already started to point out her mistakes and so im hoping for the best. her next lesson will be this coming friday, a trip to the library to help her with her vocabulary.

************

work, well work has been work. nothing new and i dont expect anything remarkably good to happen since people can be so ignorant about border security. i just hate looking at their arrogant ignorant faces. and more often than not im always in a bad mood when clearing those arrogant idiots. and i always hate it when they throw their passports and snatch it back when im done. if i didnt have to support the family i would have resigned and chosena a more fulfilling job. preferably one where im working around animals but too bad im not that educated, not in singapore's standards where everything has to have paper qualification higher than ITE, so baically im stuck with the current job that i have.

enoguh about work, im beginning to get angsty.

************

as for my confusing r/ship, let's just say im leaving that to him and fate cos i am so tired of having to think so hard to keep the r/ship working for us and when i feel that he's clearly not trying. sometimes im too patient for my own good.

im just running out of options i guess. if he thinks im no longer good enough or if he doesnt feel the same about me then thats fine with me. i'd prolly cry and feel miserable for a few weeks before moving on. cos all i seem to be doing lately is pissing him off. and when he didnt reply to my msg last weekend i just shut down.

if God Almighty thinks we're meant to be together then we'll prolly be together in the future.

well thats it for today. here's to more peaceful nights.

FML #2

my pay this month sucks, so much for always doing train ot. the amount is about the same as when i got my first pay slip. they deducted $150 extra for i don't know what reason. my monthly pay is just enough to cover my expenses and abit extra i can give my family.

i'll end up with no savings this month.

whoever is responsible for our pay this month is a total faggard. spoil my month only.

i'm feeling rather frustrated

it's been, i think, two weeks since he last contacted me, properly. i wonder if he finally got himself employed, kinda feel that as long as he is unemployed, he will continue to feel stressed out and he'll not feel like calling anyone. thankfully i understand how he feels, especially since both of us are firstborn. the responsibility towards your family is greater. and thankfully, I'm a great girlfriend. yeah, I'm entitled to some bragging rights when it comes to my love life 'cos god knows how much I've gone through with him.

anyways.....

the new year at work started off on an awfully suck-ish note. HR really treats officers on contact like crap. i only got EIGHT freaking vacation leave days this year. just EIGHT. even with the four days brought over from last year is not enough for me. since I've already used up two of the previous four days and i end up with a total of TEN day of vacation leave left. fourteen days was just enough, just only. what holidays can i plan with only TEN?

i asked my team leader and he said to check with admin. i don't really like the admin people at work so i checked with one of my mentors and a couple of colleagues.

apparently, only when i recontract with them, my contract ends late October by the way, will they give me the remaining SIX days. i guess there is some hidden logic behind what they are doing but they could have at least told us. we're the ones working our ass off every single day dealing with the public's shitass attitude. i wouldn't be feeling frustrated if they could take the time to explain rather than us finding out on our own. i feel like a pack mule.

there were a lot of trips i wanted to make this year, overseas trips. i already had to forgo the KL trip with my parents 'cos my sister has already started making plans for Australia and if i don't go she can't go. 'sides I've already made up my mind to go with her. the trip with my babygirls i might have to miss again 'cos i don't know yet how many of my vacation leave days will be used for the Australia trip.

well, hope everything works out this year.

i'm still a homo sapien

apparently, there is a lot of things going on at work, shall not elaborate but let's just say that working life is like high school all over again.

you know when you start talking about other people's behaviours, and when you find that a certain person isn't what you think he/she really is based on another's opinion and all that jazz-lah. i do not exempt myself from the following circumstances, 'cos let's face it I'm only human and more or less we all tend to fall in the same pattern or trend. even the most realist of persons will end up in the same boat.

I'm a realist and i have fallen into the same boat more than once, it really saddens me when that happens 'cos i swore to myself long ago that i will not judge someone based on another's opinion 'cos i know how it feels to be judged by others pretty much my whole life. phew, long sentence aye.

however, I'm still pretty much human and humans are prone to mistakes. not that i have ever valiantly tried to paint myself in a better light for everyone else to see. if i ever have done that please do tell me.

anyways the point I'm trying to make is that a person is innocent until proven guilty and that is with enough evidence and all that jazz. that's according to me at least, even if the person is proven guilty then it is his/her problem. we still have no right to judge. leave that to God.

i guess I'm always okay with everyone and anyone around me. and i daresay, even if the person has made me miserable before.

sister always did say that I'm just too nice sometimes. just too nice that i let people step on my head. but i prefer to let karma do the heavy work for me.

so what if people like to step on my head, so what if people continue to try and make my life miserable, so what if people talk about me w/o knowing who i really am and so what if people just don't like me, plain and simple. I've been there and done it, to other people and karma was a bitch in stilettos with a poisoned whip and i do not plan to meet Her again, ever again. meeting Karma probably changed me into a realist so much so that i seem to not care what opinions other have made of me.

let's just say I've learned to become deaf in the situations involving myself.

bah! another lengthy worded post which will make me wonder why i even started typing it in the first place. let's go back to revising for my final theory test, which is next week by the way, over my hot cup of McCafe Cino. :)

p/s: being a realist is not a title i gave myself but one that i accepted nonetheless after the most important of people in my world suggested that it fits me the most after i opened up to her about most of my teenage life. She's my Mother, by the way.

FML

"You are hereby not allowed to bring your handphones to the counters. there will be more surprise checks conducted by the Duty Officers and 100% body checks conducted if necessary. " -AC

I feel like a freaking criminal at work now, having to 'seal' my handphone before the DO comes and do their checks. i don't mind not bringing my handphone to counter during morning or afternoon shifts but it's a freaking night shift man. I'm so gonna be the first to be falling asleep in the counters. I might end up chewing on coffee grounds just to keep awake.

Okay, that wasn't a pretty picture but i have no other description as to how sleepy and not to mention bored to death i will be later on at work.

it doesn't seem fair that only Woodlands has to be so strict.

wish me luck people. -_-'

alone

i am currently home alone, as the title might suggest.

my family is over at my aunt's house, they broke their fast there. i decided not to go 'cos when i got back from work they weren't at home and i felt kinda lazy. 'sides i wasn't in the mood for company. i blame all those asstarded morons i had to clear. pffft!!

i'm seriously losing my patience, workwise that is. it feels like i'm automatically on don'tpissmeoff mode when i step into my workplace and only when i leave for home will it shut itself off. i feel like a freaking robot at some f-ed up factory scanning stupid stuff and the bloody scanner doesn't work half the time.

i keep reminding myself it is the fasting month and i shouldn't be feeling so pissed off at work.

okay, my head's blabbing right now and i can't concentrate enough to blog. -_-"

I forgot my password.....

Hello, again, it's been ages since i blogged, my girls are teasing me about it and i almost forgot what my password for my blogger account is.

basically here's the scoop,

nothing much has happened so even if did blog it would be utterly boring as hell. work has been suckish as usual ( suckish = sucking blood, as in the public has been doing for the past 8 months ), i have normal family issues and i have my own issues to take care off. yes, that's my life, full of issues.

on the other hand though,

my relationship has taken quite a major improvement. and i'm majorly happy about it. we're communicating more, we've both matured and listen more to each other, we're attuned to our feelings more than ever and i LOVE him. period.

it just proves, to me at least, that patience and a whole lot of trust and loyalty helps, a lot.

i sincerely hope that this blissful and blessed feeling won't ever go away but one can never be too sure about it. i wish my personal issues would give in to the same blissful and blessed state i have going on in my love life.

AND I MISS MY GIRLS LIKE HELL WOULD FREEZE OVER IF WE DO NOT MEET UP!!!!

No day off feel today.

thanks to a classification shoot i have to attend today, my shopping plans with boyfriend got burned. i should get over it but i'm not.

if i don't attend i have to produce an mc. which sucks. so i'm forcing myself to go for it 'cos firstly boyfriend told me just get it over and done with and second, i'm going because there are only 2 girls from alpha. so if i don't go my colleague will be all alone dealing with the guys.

frankly speaking, i'd rather not go at all. but what to do, they've got me on a leash and i have to come to heel.

sucks to be me. i wonder how my other colleagues are spending their day off?

Anxiety

I just found out that June leave results won't be out till mid-month. total bummer 'cos i'm totally delaying the plans. So sorry girls. :(

It just makes me that much anxious. well, anyways, i failed my BTT the other day and i have about another month to study for it again.

very short update 'cos my msn meetup with the girls is in session right now. next time then. :)

Since Resorts World Sentosa opened recently, the traffic at work has increased. Thank you very much.

anyways, i'm on mc today cos i reported sick. tummy problems nothing too serious though. i watched Wolfman with my colleague yesterday night. sound effects were awesome, graphics were awesome and the storyline was pretty well thought out. it had a sad ending though. i'd rate it 4/5 stars only cos the sound effects scared the shit out of me. hhaha.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, another must watch. it's a bit Harry Potter-ish in Greek mythology form albeit less darker than Harry Potter series has turned out to be. the dialogue between characters are funny, some of it.

anyhow, i'm watching the latter again today just to kill time. hehs. there are a lot of movies coming soon that i would like to catch. a long list so i won't bother typing them all out.

that's all.

Random events

the past week at work, well it wasn't that great. the computer system had to go berserk and i had to deal with impatient people. seriously people. we can't clear you if the system goes haywire. you just have to learn to be a little bit more patient. cooperation is much needed from you guys. thank goodness some people understand the situation and don't mind waiting just a little bit longer.

anywho, here are some pictures of our furry friends taken a few days ago.

first there is this cat who sorts of strays around my estate. and whenever i come back from my afternoon shift she always happens to be under my block and she will follow me into the lift and up to my house to ask for food. i swear i find that cute. i think she should be an adolescent female cat. a nice subtle grey colour. reminds me of Luckylove abit though Luckylove didn't have a long tail.


the pictures aren't that clear 'cos i was using my phone's camera and i forgot to turn on the flash.

well anyways, the next pictures are of the present my parent's bought for my cousin. a dwarf rabbit. it's an adorable little thing. i absolutely love the feel of it's soft fur and the colour of it's fur. the rabbit doesn't grow that big since it's a crossbreed. and, my cousin named it Lela. spoil sikit tapi takpe rabbit tu tetap cute and adorable.


okay, i'm done :)

random events :)

nothing much to update actually.

first i saw nadd and sul while working yesterday. and today i had the "good fortune" to be at the green channel the whole day. and at the motorcycle side of it lagi. wah, aku tkleh angkat die nye asap and habuk.

anyways, i'd like to share an old story, it happened a few weeks ago and only now i remembered to blog about it. okaylah cerite dah basi but tetap aku nak blog pasal itu cerita.




well this cat was loitering outside the clinic near my place when i went there to get my mc for the reunion event. while i was waiting for my turn to go and see the doctor, the cat came to me and sat by my feet. the most adorable moment of 2009. and it wanted to go into the room with me.

okay, so the story has lost it's excitement the way i told it but anywho, don't you think that the cat is adorable? i have a thing for light grey coloured cats. especially since Babylove's disappearance.

that's about it. :)

Happy New Year!

the new year is here and everybody, well almost everybody, will be thinking of new year's resolutions. i used to think that it'd be good to have some new goals every new year but now i think that all of it is just a whole load of crap.

i keep bringing the previous resolutions forward anyways so might as well get that over and done with and then i can think of something new to do. i'm still at that lose weight and stay slim resolution from like, three years ago and i've not effectively done it. my weight keeps on fluctuating. so that chapter's closed.

as for what i think about MY 2009, well it's easier for you guys to find out for yourselves by going through my archives. having me summarize MY 2009 will take weeks i think 'cos a lot of events happened. the good, the bad and the downright nasty. well there were a few days during MY 2009 that made it bearable and one of it was my Birthday Bash. :)

and as to how i celebrated New Year's Eve. it was nothing fancy, i didn't attend the many countdown parties that usually happens 'cos i didn't want to wear my self out since the next day is my morning shift. instead i spend it with sister and her boyfriend. we had dinner and then watched a movie. we watched Sherlock Homes to be more exact. it was a great movie 'cos of the wit and the plot of the movie was laid out pretty good. Guy Ritchie really did well with directing the movie and his parts as Lord Blackwood were acted quite well.

okay enough about the movie critique, basically that's how my new year went. i spent the better half of the day murdering my feet, yes i did since i decided to wear heels. the black suede one's with the flower motif that looks extremely tiny when i wear it. but i managed to survive. hehs.

oh before i forget, the traffic at work today was just so amazing that i couldn't believe it. for once since i started work there wasn't any MAJOR jam at the Causeway, let alone a slight one. to put it more simpler, i had time to joke around and talk about stupid stuff with my mentor while we WAIT for the cars to come in. i really made full use of the 'free' time 'cos it was certainly a rare coincidence. some of the passengers even commented on it. what luck! haha!

New Year Eve plans?

So yesterday was Xmas, and today's Boxing day. the traffic at work will be horrible like it was yesterday. less so for the human traffic. other than that, work so far has been good.

anyways, new year eve is around the corner, no plans as of yet but still working on it. my off day happens to fall on the 31st but on the 1st of Jan 2010 will be my morning shift so it has dampened my plans as of now. planning to ask the boy out on new year eve but i have a feeling it will not come true since he dislikes crowded places.

i may be going out with sister unless of course she has new year plans of her own and if she does i'll most likely to be at home staying up all night. i think my life's sounding pathetic at this point in the post. haha.

my love life is going stagnant again, which for me is perfectly normal. it'll get exciting for a few weeks and then go stagnant again. well whatever, i'm way used to it already.

Monday will be my off day, i have plans to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 with the family unless of course father has to go to work - he's extremely busy this time of year though i'm still hoping that he'll make it. if not then i have plan B to watch Sherlock Holmes with the boy and if that does not happen either i'll be staying at home as per usual. i swear my life's getting boring.

a pretty interesting week.

it has been sucha tiring week, i think i'm getting used to the cyclic shift pattern. the night shift experience wasn't that bad 'cos i managed to stay up the whole night even though there were more than enough beds to have an hour's nap. it was the morning shift i had trouble with. not a morning person to begin with so it came to no surprise that i was late on my first and second days of the morning shift. it didn't help though that i was passed around from one mentor to another but i'm already getting used to it. though the OC did say that he will try to stick me to my current mentor.

anyways, my new working life isn't that bad. i kinda like it or i may begin to like it more after awhile. it's the presence of so many strange faces, strange female faces that got me on edge. my girls should know that i don't mix with other girls except them and my ite clique, so yeah. besides the whole lot of them are mostly malay girls. it's funny how i cannot get along with most malay girls. okay maybe i'm stereotyping all of them since, i haven't had the opportunity to talk with them so i shouldn't be judging them too soon. there are a few kindred spirits, a few were my mentors so i had a chance to talk to them. about 50% of the girls there have been in the service more than 5 years so there was alot to learn from them.

i've had a chance to do my hands on ojt and i find it surprisingly straight forward, especially the departure part. the arrival part, well there's more to do and take note of. but all in all, my current mentor says i'm doing fine except that i have a tendency to rush through the clearance.

she keeps reminding em not to rush through the clearance procedures 'cos even if i do things fast the crowd will still be there. that's about the only thing i have to take note of, never rush through the clearance.

for me, the only interesting part of working in this line is the chance to hold and look at different type of passports.

the only downside is that i look at hundreds of faces, repeat the same type of questions and sit on the chair until my back hurts and when it does, i'll be doing my job standing up.

i guess every job has it's pros and cons.

and that's about it, i'd better sleep since i'm going out tomorrow with mother to JB.

bye people. :)

Last Perfect Weekend.

I'll officially start my shift work on Monday. I'm so happy that the Commander gave us the weekend off. Monday will be my afternoon shift and the following day will be my off day which is in total accordance to the roster given to us.

I still have to find time to re-read my EECUS notes 'cos i swear i've forgotten most of it.

Anyways, my pay has come in and i have yet to divide my finances. There are bills and debts to settle. Money to be given to the family and my grandmas. I have to plan to save a fixed amount every month. Of course i'll be spending some. My colleagues are planning a final gathering on Sunday if i'm not wrong. One final gathering before we officially start work that is. I'm sure going to miss their laughable antics.

So basically i'm going to make this the most perfect weekend of the whole year. I already have plans on Saturday, which is shopping with my cousin. And Sunday will probably be spent with the colleagues.

I also have plans with the boyfriend on Tuesday, i will include Tuesday as part of my perfect weekend even though it s actually a week day. Okay, redundant sentence but you know what i mean.

That's about it, oh, before i forget, girls i'll let all of you know when my off days are once i get used to the first shift cycle, okay?