when u have nothing to do like me, u tend to think about stuffs and you tend to miss sooo many people. the thinking about stuff i can do without, god knows what's running through my mind this instant.

but the feeling that comes when you are missing someone, and i'm not saying just a single soul but quite a number of them is kind of amazing if you just take a second to feel it. now i sound as if i've just found out that i have a beating heart that beats for others as well. sheesh. this may sound abit weak, but i'd say that this feeling is just something new to me in a very long, long time. my depression maybe the cause of this, who knows, right??

and being able to register it in my oh-so-depressed heart is definitely a humongous step, especially for me. it means im regaining my ability to feel other emotions other than sadness and anger. my inner spirit is beginning to lift itself up and break away from the chains holding it prisoner. i hope sooner or later, i can smile and laugh again. not the fake ones i use to mask my inner pain because i do not want others to worry soo much over me, as i feel i am burdening them with my problems which i created. especially the ones i love. though i know they will be there to help me in my time of need, i am afraid to be dependent on them to get through my depression as i feel this is something i need to learn to get through myself, however, i am utmost grateful for their support thus far.

things are definitely looking up for me.

as of right now i'm missing my GFs, my classmates, Mr Moon =) and maybe myself as well, the real me that is. and i sooo can't wait for the picnic that is to happen on the 3rd of July at ECP. i hope everyone that was invited will come, especially my GFs. i hope all 5 of them can make it.

gosh! wasn't that a wordy post. heee.

sounds abit sappy now that i've read it but who cares anyways.

i quote, deeranae : " IT IS MY LIFE"