been swamped with tests and school stuff. have yet to start on my AC report and now i have to research on GC. Ms Lee is trying to kill us i think. thankfully the MLP & AC2 theory tests are over. now left only with MLP practical test which falls on the 10th of june, coincidentally the same day we have to present our groupwork on GC. so, safe to say that school has, literally, been killer.



just when you think you're okay
just when you finally find the strength to pick yourself up
something else falls on top of you
knocking the breath out of you
and you start the tussle between
reality and paranoia all over again.

i don't know if this depression
is a blessing or a curse

a curse, yeah it is.
i have horrible recurring nightmares that don't make no fucking sense
if left to my own devices, i have suicidal tendencies that make no fucking sense either
i used to be a happy, healthy and normal teenage girl
and i have no fucking idea where that happiness disappeared to.
the tiniest of problems seem to bother me soo much
and i am constantly worrying that i am dissapointing the people around me,
that statement is almost true.

a blessing? in a way i feel it is.
i know who really care and will stay with me through hell and back.

"true friends aren't those who are with you through the best of times, but are there helping you through the worst."

i know that there are friends who are helping me, i guess im the problem. not trying hard enough to help myself. but how do i let go of a problem that's too close to home? and start being self-obssessed for once?

falling over and over again is starting to hurt my pride.