i sincerely hope that this will be the last time that i absent myself from school, ever.
i feel like a big jerk because my gfs have been giving me lots of advice, especially Nana, i have been doing what she has told me to do but sometimes i forget to do it. i've been trying hard but i guess not hard enough. thinking about it now, i guess this will help me in the lnng run. instead of just helping get through my depression, i feel it can make me a happier person inside if i am persistant enough to make it through till the end. i reali hope this chapter in my life will have a happy ending, for once and not just another cliffhanger.

people may think i take them for granted sometimes but i feel i don't, i know im sounding too overconfident when im saying this but i have never taken anyone for granted on purpose. i always try to cherish the ones that mean something to me.

however, sometimes i feel that when i give people advice, help them through their phases, they never want to listen. well they pretend to but they just shrug it off. if they don't want my help in the first place, then don't come to me whining about this and that. will save me the trouble of thinking of ways to help them and instead help myself. God knows that i need all the help that im willing to take and learn from. when i told Mother about this, she said,

" sayang, u nid to learn how to put yourself before others instead of putting others before yourself. "

i guess this another bad habit of mine, putting others before myself, moreso now that i have this depression hanging over my head like a death sentence waiting to be read out. maybe that i sjust what i need to do, be a little selfish once in awhile. it will be tough since i have never been selfish to anyone in my life before, maybe the only person i have been selfish to is myself. that shouldn't be hard right, being a little bit more selfish towards others since i have been selfish to myself all this while.