im soo effingly bored, was sposed to go out todae but sadly my fren had chores to do, important chores. namely washing his police uniform. i dun mind at all actuali. its just tht i have nothing to do. my mom asked me to come over to my granny's house to help with the preparation of my cuzzin's wedding tml. i have no mood to go over, i see no point in it. i hardly know who he is just the fact that he is my cuzzin does not mean i have to be there, when he has never been there for us. we cuzzins help each other alot 'cept for him. i know im being mean cos after all he is family but just dont feel like coming over cos i just dont want to. it shud be enuf for me to cme tml and be present and pretty for the wedding itself.

its days like these tht make me feel very unsure bout myself, id rather go somewhere then be left at home thinking bout my life then, all those stupid mistakes i made and all the hurt i have caused others. everyone says dont think bout the past too much and forget bout it since it is in the past. but one can never run away from one's past. it will cme hunting us sooner or later. mine just came sooner then expected. at 8teen i have depression along with insomnia and an eating disorder. my physical health has also been affected some sort. but i thank god everyday of my life cos i have ppl tht help me thru this phase and they are giving me all the support i need and when i need it.

god has seen it fit that i get a second chance and imma grab that chance and live my life to the fullest. beginning with recovering from this mental illness that i have.


i thank you for just one more day