i guess i did not get the job at escape theme park, but nevermind that, i have job offers already. and of course they are looking for a babysitter for the weekends. i still am not sure if i want to take up those jobs, sure i need money but who doesnt, right??

my sister has plans to go for job interviews at the end of may. not that she has to go for interviews. she will get the job cos she will be working with my aunt, who has a good track record at her workplace. and my sis will be working as a waitress. i wonder how that will turn out. im sure it will be for the best cos my sis is the understatement of a people-person. if she wanted to run for president she could. unlike me sulking away at home with my depression hanging over my head when i have nothing to do at home. pfffft!!!!

aniwaes later going out with mr moon, to idk where yet.
details will be posted later in the day &&&& hopefully with pics. =)

and having a wardrobe malfunction right now. the top that Nuruz lent me fits alright but it is a little bit short and my tummy can be seen, so i need to find another longer tank top to wear over the top that she lent me. no offence meant aye Nuruz. =)

toodles then, for now =)

Today during BCT prac, we ( Zura, Nana, Zulfah and Me ) made soap. the process of soap making is called Saponification.

its damn cool sia. making our own soap by using veggie oil, ethanol aka alcohol, KOH & NaCl.

it took us like only half an hour to finish the first stage of the process. Sadly, we can only manage to do the first stage since, saponification itself, the actual one that is, requires many different stages ( 20 stages, if i got my facts right. ) and the use of sophisticated machines to make real usable soap. the one we made, im guessing, is not usable.^-^

the first step is mixing the veggie oil, ethanol and KOH or potassium hydroxide, the main ingredient for the making of liquid soap, to get the solution that you see below.
anyhow, we are boiling the mixture using a hotplate, and thats the grey orange thingy that u see under the conical flask.

the next few pictures shown is of the saponification process meaning we were waiting for the solution to precipitate, to become semi solid before we add the NaCl, sodium chloride, which helps to separate the soap from the mixture.

this is where the precipitation is occuring. if you look closely the liquid has changed in state, from liquid to semi-solid

and for this, we have added the NaCl to separate the soap from the liquid. again if you put your face to the screen :),

you can see bits of soap. :)

now back to normal school day.

today's word of the day which was quoted from my dear gf Nana

"KETOT"

dun ask me what it means cos i have no clue but it came from the sentence below so try and figure it out aye ;)

"lau jeans cam myra, cuci nanti ketot"

however if you readers still cant guess it, what nana meant to say was the word " kecut" and not "ketot", this all happened just cos Zura had the idea of hiding her hp and thus she become unhinged and stress, and thus nonsensical words came out of her mouth. since today was her day, i wonder who's day will it be tomorrow. i hope its not me

ehhes.

i sincerely hope that this will be the last time that i absent myself from school, ever.
i feel like a big jerk because my gfs have been giving me lots of advice, especially Nana, i have been doing what she has told me to do but sometimes i forget to do it. i've been trying hard but i guess not hard enough. thinking about it now, i guess this will help me in the lnng run. instead of just helping get through my depression, i feel it can make me a happier person inside if i am persistant enough to make it through till the end. i reali hope this chapter in my life will have a happy ending, for once and not just another cliffhanger.

people may think i take them for granted sometimes but i feel i don't, i know im sounding too overconfident when im saying this but i have never taken anyone for granted on purpose. i always try to cherish the ones that mean something to me.

however, sometimes i feel that when i give people advice, help them through their phases, they never want to listen. well they pretend to but they just shrug it off. if they don't want my help in the first place, then don't come to me whining about this and that. will save me the trouble of thinking of ways to help them and instead help myself. God knows that i need all the help that im willing to take and learn from. when i told Mother about this, she said,

" sayang, u nid to learn how to put yourself before others instead of putting others before yourself. "

i guess this another bad habit of mine, putting others before myself, moreso now that i have this depression hanging over my head like a death sentence waiting to be read out. maybe that i sjust what i need to do, be a little selfish once in awhile. it will be tough since i have never been selfish to anyone in my life before, maybe the only person i have been selfish to is myself. that shouldn't be hard right, being a little bit more selfish towards others since i have been selfish to myself all this while.

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

underneath the stars we sat, cos we missed the sunset
amidst the jokes, the stupid remarks of everything imaginable
songs shared under the starry sky
the stolen peck on the cheek.
i felt the warmth sitting next to you.
i am still feeling the warmness of your touch,
when u hugged me while i lay asleep on your shoulder
the way u gently shook me awake,
to tell me that
we've reached our destination

most of all,
i loved the way u made me smile and laugh,
i loved the way u teased me all through the night
i loved the fact that u enjoyed the moment spent together with me.

im beginning to love everything about you
and i hope u do too
even though i know ive broke ur heart twice
i still do hope that u'll love me for me
and not what i have unintentionally done to you.

030508
i found someone else who understands me
like my gfs do
i found someone who makes me happy
like my gfs do
and hopefully i have found someone i can love and hope he shares the same feelings.

bonds were created and shared,
everlasting memories were imprinted in my head
and for the first time, in a very long time.
i fell asleep with a smile upon my face


thank you my sweet Mr Moon